{"id":1641,"date":"2024-02-20T17:38:47","date_gmt":"2024-02-20T22:38:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.celiamcbride.com\/?p=1641"},"modified":"2024-02-20T17:38:47","modified_gmt":"2024-02-20T22:38:47","slug":"the-d-word","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.celiamcbride.com\/?p=1641","title":{"rendered":"The D Word"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Dearest Readers,<\/p>\n

Lately, I’ve been writing about death as I prepare to give a talk at our local YMCA on Saturday for the “Y Break Bread” supper series<\/a>.<\/p>\n

This may sound like a serious topic for Seniors but I’m approaching the D word with a light heart and a sense of humour.<\/p>\n

Here’s an excerpt of the talk:<\/p>\n

At the long-term care home where I provide spiritual care, I watched the practice of deep listening transform a man named Fred.<\/p>\n

Fred was the grumpiest man in the world. The Grinch had nothing on him. He would wheel himself around the home with a scowl on his face, grunt at you if you spoke to him, make fun of you if you said something nice, and insult people behind their backs.<\/p>\n

I fell in love with him. I did. Not in a romantic way but in the way of true friendship. I got to know Fred intimately and I got to see the man behind the grump.<\/p>\n

And Fred was a gentleman. He would do things for people, little courtesies. One of his table mates liked jam so Fred would put the little packages on her placemat every morning.<\/p>\n

Fred was like the Hooded Fang in Mordecai Richler\u2019s \u201cJacob Two-Two\u201d book<\/a>, he\u2019d give you candy when you weren\u2019t looking and deny the credit for doing it.<\/p>\n

When I first went to visit Fred, he reluctantly let me into his room. But the more I showed up, the more he welcomed me.<\/p>\n

Fred complained about everything. Nothing was good enough and everybody was an idiot. But I didn\u2019t try to convince him things were better, I didn\u2019t deny his negativity and try to get him to look at the bright side. I listened and nodded. Sometimes I laughed. I allowed him to be himself. Fully himself, without trying to change him.<\/p>\n

And guess what? Fred started to smile. He started to tell jokes. I found out that he actually had a great sense of humour. (Okay, often it was at other people\u2019s expense but he could really tell a joke.)<\/p>\n

One day I asked Fred if he was afraid to die.<\/p>\n

\u201cDie?\u201d he said, \u201cWhy would anyone be afraid to die? It only takes a minute. Just like getting your tooth pulled. Open up and say \u2018ah\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n

My friendship with Fred taught me that when we accept someone for who they are and give them the space to be themselves, they will begin to trust that it\u2019s okay<\/em> to be themselves. Fred softened his hard shell, shed his armour and allowed his true self to be seen.<\/p>\n

I call this the miracle of unconditional love. When we offer someone that gift in their later years and they allow themselves to receive it, it can heal their soul.<\/p>\n

From the fires of love,<\/p>\n

Celia<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dearest Readers, Lately, I’ve been writing about death as I prepare to give a talk at our local YMCA on Saturday for the “Y Break Bread” supper series. This may sound like a serious topic for Seniors but I’m approaching the D word with a light heart and a sense of humour. Here’s an excerpt…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[1068,844,543,923,1069,826],"class_list":["post-1641","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-aging","tag-death","tag-dying","tag-healing","tag-seniors","tag-unconditional-love"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.celiamcbride.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1641","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.celiamcbride.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.celiamcbride.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.celiamcbride.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.celiamcbride.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1641"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.celiamcbride.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1641\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1645,"href":"https:\/\/www.celiamcbride.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1641\/revisions\/1645"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.celiamcbride.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1641"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.celiamcbride.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1641"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.celiamcbride.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1641"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}