• Swan-ee, How I Love Ya

    • April 24, 2010 10:01 am

    Dearest Readers,

    When I got up this morning I happened to look out the window and way up high in the blue, blue sky I saw a “V” of swans flying in perfect formation. The rising sun was hitting their undersides turning their whiteness to shining gold. It was such a gift!

    We never know what we’ll see if we take the time to look. This idea reminded me of a man I once met who had been walking with his head down one day and found twenty bucks. This, he said, had taught him to always keep his head down. “If you keep your head down,” he’d told me, “You never know what you’ll see.”

    I remember thinking this was a little bit backward. “Keeping your head down” can mean “to do or say as little as possible in order to avoid problems or arguments” (Free Dictionary) but it can also indicate low self-esteem. I thought this guy was denying himself the feeling of personal power that can come from walking with head held high.

    But perhaps I’m wrong. Perhaps it doesn’t matter where we are looking as long as we have our eyes open. We can have our heads down and find money or our heads up and see signs of summer approaching. Head down or up, it’s our eyes that see the Light.

    Seeing those swans this morning brought me back to the Reality of Being. I was about to head into the day, guns blazing, attack the “to do” lists with gusto but there they were, those graceful birds calling my attention, stopping me, landing me in the present moment, reminding me of what is truly important: Beauty, Presence, Joy.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: We can never be reminded too often to stop, open our eyes and see the world around us. Today I will practice this process of continuing to land in my body, land in my life, land in the Power of Be-ing.

    Sing the Song of Thy Self

    • April 23, 2010 9:04 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Yesterday was Earth Day and although I think everyday should be Earth Day it is still a good thing to dedicate a single day to the cause of honouring our fair planet. It was inspiring to see, hear and read about all of the activities going on in the name of caring for this great ball of miracles and mysteries we call home.

    I went to join a community of folks taking part in a yoga class and a meditation and chanting circle. During the meditation portion we were asked to send out loving energy, if we wished, to a particular person or place. As we sat in silence, the leader read us some inspiring text which included words like, “May we be free of danger, may we have mental and physical happiness.”

    These words reminded me of a song I learned this past winter while on retreat at The Naramata Centre. I’ve been singing it over and over in my head since last night so I thought I’d share it with you.

    May I be filled with Loving Kindness
    May I be well
    May I be peaceful and at ease
    May I be happy

    The next verse is a wish for the Other:

    May You be filled with Loving Kindness
    May You be well
    May You be peaceful and at ease
    May You be happy

    Then comes the version for all of Us:

    May We be filled with Loving Kindness
    May We be well
    May We be peaceful and at ease
    May We be happy

    And the last verse brings it back to the individual in the form of an affirmation:

    I am filled with Loving Kindness
    I am well
    I am peaceful and at ease
    I am happy

    The tune is very childlike and quite pretty. I wish I could sing it for you. Then you, too, could get it stuck in your head.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: In the hustle and bustle of this day I will take a moment to recognize the amazing world around me. When I connect to the Reality of Being I am filled with Loving Kindness and I am happy.

    Thanks Be To Gladys

    • April 22, 2010 9:17 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Last fall, I blogged about a conversation with a friend who told me about a film called The Inn of the Sixth Happiness starring Ingrid Bergman as a missionary in China. My friend shared a courageous quote from the film with me and I’ve used it a lot ever since.

    Last weekend I was poring over the DVD’s at the local library and guess what I found? The Inn of the Sixth Happiness. Of course, I had to get it.

    Well, if you’ve already gone back to read the earlier post, you’ll see that I called the film a “B-movie that nobody saw”. Not exactly true. It wasn’t a B-movie at all. It was nominated for an Oscar and a number of other awards and was largely hailed at the time of its release.

    Another interesting point to correct is the quote my friend had shared. She remembered it as, “Yes, open the door.” In fact, when the guard asks the Bergman character if she is afraid she says, “Yes, I am afraid. Now open the gate.” Same diff but worth mentioning anyway.

    What is the sixth happiness? Bergman’s character, Gladys Aylward, also wants to know. According to the woman who Gladys asks, another female missionary, the Chinese believe there are five happinesses: wealth, longevity, good health, virtue and a peaceful death in old age. Gladys’ mentor then goes on to say that each person decides in her own heart what the sixth happiness is.

    Gladys Aylward was a real person. She was devoted to serving her God and gave her life to the Chinese people in myriad ways, including helping nearly one hundred orphans of war trek through dangerous mountains to safety. But at the end of the film Gladys gives up her devotion to service as well as the loving children she’s adopted to go back to a man with whom she’s fallen in love. Her sixth happiness is romantic love.

    Now, it’s not impossible for a person called by Higher Love to change her mind and follow the path of Romantic Love. But it’s a pretty radical shift so I did a little bit of research to find out if Gladys really did give up selfless service for marriage. Guess what? She did not.

    I found this quote in an online biography:

    “Please note that although Inn of the Sixth Happiness is a well-produced, heartwarming movie starring the great actress Ingrid Bergman it was a thorn in the side of Gladys Aylward. She was deeply embarrassed by the movie because it was so full of inaccuracies. Hollywood also took great liberties with her infatuation with the Chinese Colonel Linnan, even changing him into an Eurasian. But Gladys, the most chaste of women, was horrified to learn the movie had portrayed her in ‘love scenes’. She suffered greatly over what she considered her soiled reputation.”

    Can you imagine seeing your life portrayed in a major Hollywood film and the life they portray is actually not your own? Talk about having to “let go and let God!”

    All this to say that Gladys Aylward, the real Gladys Aylward, is now on my list of Inspiring Teachers. It might have been the writer of The Inn of the Sixth Happiness who gave us, “Yes, I am afraid. Now open the gate,” but it was Gladys who inspired her to write it.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: We can look for inspiration in those Great Teachers who have blazed the trail before us. When I am fearful I will remember their stories and use their courageous example to spur me on.

    Halfway There

    • April 21, 2010 9:46 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Today marks the official halfway point of my commitment to blog six days a week for one full year. I don’t know why but it feels like I should be celebrating. It’s a milestone, to be sure.

    For those of you who don’t know, this blog was started for a couple of reasons. The first was that I had just seen “Julie and Julia”, the film about the gal who blogs each day as she journeys through Julia Child’s cookbook. The second reason was that the cat I live with woke me up at 5 a.m. and when I prayed for help not to kill him the Still Small Voice whispered, “Start a blog.”

    Posting six days a week has its challenges and I’ll be honest, sometimes I resent the fact that I’ve made this commitment to myself. I’ve often considered reneging but somehow can’t bring myself to give up. Besides that, I do like it. A lot. And it helps me. I can be in a foul mood when I start writing and by the time I’m done the irritability has dissipated and I’m truly inspired.

    Knowing that I have faithful readers certainly helps. I noticed I lost a follower recently and that was a bit of a sad moment but I receive comments through email and in person and your positive feedback keeps me going.

    Apologies for the road block on the comments. I put it there because I got a spam-like comment that linked to a porn site. I’m presently building a new website and am trying to figure out how to transfer the blog over to the site so that people will be able to freely leave their comments each day. I so enjoy getting them and hope to make this happen soon.

    Overall, the purpose of this blog is inspire me and you to walk through our respective fears, cultivate courage to achieve our goals, and explore the adventure of our own lives. It is a little bit of experience shared and hope delivered. In the words of the great E.M. Forster, it is a way to “connect, only connect.”

    Inspiring Message of the Day: We are not alone. We are all in this together. Thank you to the Internet, that mad, exciting forum of the present and the future, for bringing us all together.

    Angelic Intervention

    • April 20, 2010 9:25 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Do you believe in angels? That is to say, have you ever had an encounter with a person who appeared just when you needed him to and who told you just what you needed to hear?

    A couple of weeks ago, on Easter Sunday, I went to the Anglican Church in Dawson City. I like to go to church on Easter. It feels like an appropriate thing to do. I like the singing and the children running around and I like the sense of community.

    What I’m not crazy about is the Resurrection story being told as historical fact. I can dig the Bible stories as metaphors but I’ve done a lot of reading about the historical significance of these stories and they were never, ever meant to be taken literally.

    So I’m sitting in church listening to the minister tell me that the story of the empty tomb is historically true and I’m getting madder and madder and I just want to leave or shout something like, “It’s a metaphor, dude!” but I know I can’t do that so I began to pray instead.

    “Help me to have tolerance for these people. Help me to have compassion. Help me. Help me. Help me.”

    The time came for communion. I’m not baptized and so I stayed in my seat. A man who was sitting in front of me turned around to talk to me while the rest of the congregation filed up to the front. Apparently he was not going up either.

    This man had looked back at me a couple of times at the beginning of the service and though I’d smiled at him I had judged him, too. He looked rough, bloodshot eyes, missing teeth, raggedy clothes. I thought, “He’s a broken down alcoholic.”

    He asked me where I was from and I told him. He began to tell me a bit of his story. He spoke of his grandparents, both dead now, who’d lived into their 100’s, whom he’d cared for in their final years. He told me about life in the bush and living on the land, the wisdom of his elders and the gifts they had given him. Moved by his kindness, my heart cracked open and eyes filled with tears.

    He said, “If the Sun sent us a heating bill we’d all be in debt.”

    As the service resumed he turned around and faced the front. The light from the giving Sun shone through the stained glass and lit the room anew. The music swelled, filling the whole place up with life. I stood up to sing with the people I’d previously judged. We sang as one.

    When I told this story to a friend recently she said, “You met an angel.” Angel or man, he opened my heart. I was moved from anger and judgment to love and compassion. I has asked for help and immediately received it.

    The real point of the Resurrection story and this story, too, is that there is something Greater at work. There are things that happen that we cannot explain. There is a Power that responds to our needs. This Power is Love.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Yes, I’m actually going to quote ABBA for the IMD: “I believe in angels. Something good in everything I see. I believe in angels. When I know the time is right for me.”

    Not so Dull

    • April 19, 2010 9:26 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Over the weekend I was speaking with a friend who has a lot going on in her life right now. After telling me about a particularly intense experience I said to her, “Never a dull moment.”

    Her response to my statement was, “It would be good to have a dull moment or two around here,” to which I said, “Yup, we have to welcome the dull moments.”

    Not everyone may have a the kind of life which necessitates inviting dull moments to come in but for those of us that are overachievers, perfectionists, workaholics, busy bees, or stimulant junkies it’s a pretty sound piece of advice.

    It took shingles for me to learn how to welcome the dull moments. For those of you who aren’t familiar with shingles, it’s a viral disease, the same one as chickenpox, and it travels through the nervous system, bursting through the skin in a painful rash of blisters.

    When I was diagnosed, I was told there are three causes: age, compromised immune system and stress. Since I was in my early thirties and my immune system was healthy I had to accept that stress was the reason I now had what felt like small knives stabbing repeatedly into my back.

    Because shingles can recur, my body now has a built-in stress-reducer. If I don’t ever want to experience the pain of those blisters again, and believe me I don’t, then I need to be careful about how much stress I invite into my life.

    The key word in that last sentence is “invite”. What I learned from the shingles experience was that I was actually creating the experience of chaos in my life. It wasn’t happening to me. I was making it happen.

    This was a big wake-up call. Not easy to accept at first, certainly, but once I did I could then begin to make the necessary changes.

    The biggest change was learning how to welcome the dull moments. Learning how stop, to rest, to say no to things that caused stress or burn-out or exhaustion. I learned about self-care in a whole new way. Today, my well being comes first, period.

    Admittedly, I do not do this perfectly. I can still tend toward workaholism and over-stimulation but I am light years away from where I was when those blisters burst on my back and said, “Celia, we need a break.”

    Thank goodness they did and thank goodness I listened.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Today I will welcome the dull moments. In the dull moments the Silence awaits us. In the Silence there is Peace. I deserve this Peace.

    Free and Easy

    • April 17, 2010 10:33 am

    Dearest Readers,

    How spontaneous are you? Can you change your plans in a heartbeat? Do something wild and daring at the drop of a hat? Make a decision on the fly without knowing whether it’s really the right thing to do? If so, I admire your spontaneity.

    The dictionary on this computer describes “spontaneous” as “having an open, natural, and uninhibited manner.” It also says that spontaneity “occurs as a result of a sudden inner impulse without premeditation.”

    Although I like to think I have an open, natural and uninhibited manner the reality is I have a pretty regimented schedule, which contrary to the way it sounds, brings me maximum wellness. I need to be vigilant with my time in order for my spiritual and emotional health to remain in alignment.

    What this means is that I’m not the most spontaneous gal on the block. When I run into someone on the street and they say, “How about going for a coffee?” my answer is usually, “Can’t right now. Email me and we’ll set something up.” Scheduling ahead of time is the best I can do. And it works.

    Most of the time. Because vigilance has its downside. When vigilance becomes rigidity we’re in control-issue territory and its probably best to mix it up a little. Throw caution to the wind and break free. Let go and let spontaneity in. Take a walk on the wild side.

    Yesterday a friend asked me to go for coffee with her. She had just given me a lift to the bank and suggested we go to the cafe across the street and catch up. It had been a while since we’d spent any time together, the sun was shining and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to hang out.

    Internally, my first response was, “Oh no, I can’t.” But then I realized that, in fact, I could. There was nothing I had to do that couldn’t wait. The only thing stopping me was… fear.

    Fear of what? Oh, I don’t know. Changing my schedule. Fear of socializing or being seen. Fear of lattes. Whatever! Fear is illogical and ridiculous. It doesn’t make any sense. But it keeps us from living a full life and it will make our decisions for us if we let it.

    So I said “yes”. Pretty wild, I know. But I could think of no good reason to say “no” other than it felt more comfortable than saying yes. So I did the uncomfortable thing. I changed my plans in the moment. I acted spontaneously!

    My friend and I ended up having a really good conversation. I think we were both able to process a number of things going on in our respective lives. And it was fun! I know, fun, what a concept.

    At the end of our time together I thanked my friend for asking me to join her. She thanked me for being spontaneous. Open, natural, uninhibited. That’s me. On a good day.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I will practice doing the thing that takes me out of my comfort zone. Today I will respond with spontaneity to something new that comes my way.

    Define Fearless

    • April 16, 2010 9:32 am

    Dearest Readers,

    You may recall reading in a past blog that one of the visions I have for my life is to become fearless. I have only really ever heard of one person described as having achieved this seemingly ideal state of being, and that was Swami Vishnu-devananda. It is he that has always inspired this vision in me.

    Swami Vishnu, or Swamiji as he is affectionately known to his followers, came to the West from India at the urging of his guru, Swami Sivananda, and started the Sivananda Yoga Vendanta Centres, which now have ashrams and yoga studios all over the world. A robust and smiling man, Swamiji created the Yoga Teachers Training Course, which I took in 2003, with the vision to develop messengers of peace.

    Whenever I think or hear or read about fearlessness, I think of Swamiji. I don’t know if he really was fearless because I never met him. I just remember one of his students describing him as “absolutely fearless” and I have never forgotten it. The concept awes me.

    Yesterday I picked up a book I borrowed from the lending library at Hospice Yukon Society called Facing Fear, Finding Courage — Your Path to Peace of Mind by Sarah Quigley with Marilyn Shroyer, PH.D. I had just signed the book out the day before, when I’d stopped in to return another book that had been passed on to me back in February.

    When I went into Hospice Yukon I had no intention of getting another book but the woman there was so kind and so helpful that when she encouraged me to look in their library I took it as Higher Guidance. When I saw the Quigley/Shroyer book I thought it would be a good reference for the upcoming Cultivate Your Courage workshops I’ll be leading on May 29 in Whitehorse and in June at the Sivananda Yoga Retreat in Paradise Island, Bahamas.

    When I got home and began to flip through the book these were the very first words I read: “Stop striving to become fearless.”

    Stop? Striving to be fearless? Really?

    Here’s why they think so: “No book, workshop, or pep talk will make all our fears vanish. Sometimes we have to go on living with fear because it’s based on realistic concerns.”

    The authors then go on to describe things that would naturally make a person afraid like your daughter going missing or being alone for the first time. Makes sense, right? These are realistic concerns.

    “Keep reminding yourself how courageous you are to keep facing your fears” is the sentence that ends the paragraph. I like that. Courage isn’t the absence of fear it’s the willingness to go through it.

    Okay, so I get that fear is a natural part of being human and that if I run into a rattlesnake I’m going to be afraid, but what about striving to be fearless around unrealistic concerns? The fear of failure/fear of success concerns or the fear of being disliked concern?

    Those kinds of fears are the ones that I’m seeking to be free of on this life’s journey. Those fears are not based on realistic concerns at all. They’re based on Old Belief Systems (Old BS) that are no longer working. Can’t I still strive to become fearless in that way?

    As a coach I’d say, “Of course you can. You can do whatever you want.” But what this book is talking about is accepting fear as a natural part of being human. Accepting fear and learning to live with it is the real freedom we’re seeking because that acceptance is what will finally free us from being controlled by our fear.

    Perhaps Swamiji would agree. Perhaps he still had fears that his disciples didn’t see. Perhaps he wasn’t as fearless as people thought. He was still human, after all.

    Maybe being rid of fear is not the goal. What if we were to define fearlessness as “facing your fears head on”? If that were the case then the vision of fearlessness does not seem so far off. In fact, it feels downright happening now.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I am willing to accept that I will never be rid of certain fears. However, I will continue to strive for freedom from the fears that bind me to suffering and keep me from experiencing the fullest life possible.

    Help is on the Way

    • April 15, 2010 10:04 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Recently I was a part of a sharing circle for women who are struggling with trauma and addiction issues. One of the tools we discussed was “asking for help”. Most of us agreed that asking for help is anathema. Too hard, feels gross, forget it I’m not doing it.

    It’s not easy for a person who has been hurt to ask for help because the fear of rejection is huge. Our trust issues can keep us from doing the one thing that will bring us relief. Saying “I need help” is probably the fastest way to change the situation but also the most terrifying.

    When I was in high school I was directing a play and needed to move a set piece onto the stage. It was way bigger than I could handle but did I need help? Help no! I hauled it and pushed it and nearly broke my back moving it to where I needed it to go. Success! But wait. Oh no! In the process I had scraped the heck out of the stage floor.

    Our drama teacher came before the class and asked the person responsible for the damage to step forward. No one did. I wrestled with the guilt. Finally, I went to him and confessed. He was very forgiving, probably because I’d stepped forward to tell the truth. He’d wanted to know why I hadn’t just asked someone to help me move the damn thing?

    Good question. If the thought occurred to me at the time I don’t remember. Likely I didn’t want to bother anyone (people-pleaser), or I was afraid of appearing weak (ego-driven) or I simply thought I could do it alone (false pride). Regardless, I ruined the floor and learned a good (hard) lesson.

    One of the gals in the sharing circle who had been through extreme trauma in the form of sexual abuse volunteered to share her feelings with the group. She opened up, probably for the first time, and told us what she was going through. Lots of fear, anger and shame came up but lots of hurt, too, and great sadness. Although she didn’t actually say, “I need help,” she was, in a way, asking for it just by telling us what was in her heart.

    That’s where it begins. Telling the truth about ourselves from our hearts. This is how I’m really doing. This is how I really am. Will you help me? From there asking for help to move the furniture becomes second nature.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I will practice telling the truth about myself from my heart. I will practice asking for help when I need it.

    Walk Through This

    • April 14, 2010 9:46 am

    Dearest Readers,

    As some of you know, my friend Leanne is fighting for her life right now, battling Stage 4 breast cancer that has moved into her lungs and is not responding to traditional treatments.

    Her blog, Living with Breast Cancer, is worth following not only for its inspiring message but for Leanne’s irreverent humour and acerbic wit.

    Below is a link to an orientation video from the Princess Margaret Hospital Foundation about the “Weekend To End Women’s Cancers”, which Leanne participated in last year. She comes in around the 6-minute mark looking gorgeous in a black floppy hat.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Ej5SRg5j0o