• Web of Life

    • April 30, 2010 9:17 am

    Dearest Readers,

    It means so much to me that this blog is being read and that it is inspiring people. The more I embrace the world of social media the more I feel that Great Connection between us all.

    It’s amazing what the Internet has done to change our relationship to one another. As disconnected, disparate and distanced human beings all alone on our little islands we are now sharing instantly our common bond via the Web.

    Each morning, before I post, I check out the blogs that are on my Reader’s List. Each morning I check Leanne Coppen’s blog Living with Breast Cancer. In yesterday’s Inspiring Works post I told you that Leanne died. But today I still went to check her blog. I couldn’t not. It’s a ritual I’m not ready to let go of just yet.

    What I found there amazes me. Comment after comment from Leanne’s readers expressing sympathy, condolences, grief, joy, rage, gratitude and love. How many of us were brought together in this virtual community of compassion? Has there ever been anything in history that has connected people so immediately and with such depth as the World Wide Web?

    Back in the late ’90s there was a great pop song and music video by Jamiroquai called Virtual Insanity. It’s a very catchy tune and really fun to dance to. The video was super innovative at the time. The lyrics are all about the total craziness that technology generates and how much of what we’ve invented is “not Nature’s Way.”

    But for all the insanity that new technology breeds it also creates this unbelievable unity among us. We are truly a global community today because of blogs, Facebook, Twitter and the like. We may be taking it too far sometimes (I just read a great piece in The New Yorker about a guy who walks down the aisle, kisses his bride and later goes down on her in the honeymoon suite Tweeting all the while) we are also benefiting from its broad reach.

    A couple of readers sent me messages yesterday thanking me for this blog, for sharing my life, letting me know my words “echo far and wide”. This means more to me than I can say. Not because I’m being read by lots of people, though that does make me happy, but because I am a part of this marvelous web of strangers coming together as friends.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Despite the grief we feel, the losses we must bear, the seeming unfairness of certain circumstances, there is a Great Connection of which we are all a part. I can feel that Connection both here, in this virtual world, and here, in the centre of my heart.

    Good-bye But Not Gone

    • April 29, 2010 9:41 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Yesterday I received a message announcing that my friend, Leanne Coppen, has died. She was living with cancer and fighting it with every cell in her body. Her blog, Living with Breast Cancer, often stood in for the Inspiring Message of the Day on this blog. She was full of hope and irreverent humour and inspired many, many people with her words.

    Leanne and I went to high school together. At 16, Leanne could best be described as a hippie love chick. She had long hair, wore baggy sweaters and long pendants and her wrists and fingers were covered in bracelets and rings. She liked to smoke dope and talk about peace and love and so did I. We were good friends.

    Leanne and I had many conversations about what we perceived as the f’d up state of the world and how Peace and Love were the only solutions possible. Once, we got into a deep discussion about currency. Why were there different currencies, we wondered? It’s One Planet, One People. There should be One Global Currency, we decided. “A dollar is a dollar,” we reasoned.

    This became a mantra for all that we believed: A dollar is a dollar!

    Leanne and I got our first tattoo together. She got a Sun on her lower abdomen and I just couldn’t decide what to get. We sat in the tattoo parlour poring over pictures. She asked me questions, trying to help me figure out what I was looking for. I saw one of her pendants, hanging on a long chain from her neck. It was a Peace Dove. “That’s it,” I said. “This?” she asked, holding it up. We then held each others’ hands through the pain of the tattoo needle.

    Today, that Peace Dove, faded now, 22 years old, feels like Leanne on my shoulder.

    One other memory stands out among many. I arrived at a party where Leanne was already waiting with a male friend of hers I had not met before. Upon my arrival, he looked at Leanne and said, “Yup.” Later, when he was out of the room she said, “Before you got here I was telling him about you. He asked if you were pretty or beautiful. I said, “Beautiful.” That’s what his ‘yup’ was in response to.”

    Leanne, who was stunningly gorgeous and whose beauty both made me jealous and inspired me, thought I was beautiful! This was a defining moment in the Celia McBride self-esteem books, lemme tellya.

    Once, my beloved friend Eden, who was and still is Leanne’s best friend, said, in the typical stoner language of the day (well, we were stoned a lot of the time!), “Where did Celia man go?” Forever after I was Celia Mango to Leanne and Eden.

    Last fall, Leanne and I re-connected. We had stayed in touch over the years and had seen each other probably every five years or so and it had been about that since the last time we’d got together. I emailed her to see if we could have a visit because I would be in Toronto. She emailed me back. “Celia Mango! How completely fantastic to hear from you!”

    How I cherish those words now.

    Leanne, you still feel really present. I’ve been talking with you since yesterday. Remembering, sharing, celebrating your life. Leanne, dearest, you introduced me to Goethe and you wrote as deeply as he did. Your words will be remembered, monuments will be erected in your name. Your legacy has only just begun. Believe it.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: O Death. You take the body but not the Life. Sadness, grief, loss. All real, all necessary. But beyond those feelings is the Everlasting Spirit, the Indweller of all Beings, the Great Reality: Peace and Love. Therein lies our comfort.

    Are You Okay?

    • April 28, 2010 9:06 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Be careful what you pray for. We’ve all heard this expression. Pray for wisdom you get your butt kicked. Uh-huh. Pray for compassion. Oh boy.

    Compassion is not something I’m completely lacking but in certain areas and with certain kinds of people I am less tolerant than I would like to be. The Judge Judy aspect of my personality isn’t something I’m proud of but she’s there. The good news is that I’m willing to work with her. I’m willing to change.

    Lately, I have been asking Higher Guidance to teach me how to respond with compassion and to remove my lack of tolerance. Just when you think no one is listening, nothing is happening, no traceable movement is taking place, the ground shifts and splits open, revealing the Path.

    I’ve been asking for my judgmental thinking to be removed. What happens? I get a pain in the neck. What does the pain in the neck do? It slows me down. It’s a pain in the neck! It forces me to listen. It sends me right to the Source.

    What do I “hear”? The pain in the neck is inflexibility. It’s judgment.

    So this morning, I go to the weekly morning meeting of Toastmasters. I’m scheduled to give a speech. I walk in. It’s crowded. There’s a seat next to a man I don’t know. When I ask him if I may squeeze in beside him I get a smart aleck remark. My back goes up.

    I sit down, turning away from him. I realize he’s new so I force myself to introduce myself. He says, looking into my eyes, “Are you okay?” My back goes up even higher. I say, “Yes, are you?” His eyes are bloodshot. I smell liquor on his breath. I turn away.

    My head starts working overtime, “Who is this clown? Drunk in the morning. Arsehole. Arrogant. Am I okay? I’m okay, what about him? Judge, judge, judge.” I hear him say, “You may have just BS’ed me but that’s okay.”

    My anger starts to boil. Then… wait a minute. What is going on here? I’m about to give a motivational speech. I’m about to inspire people, shine my Light. How can I do that when Judge Judy has taken over my body?

    Something shifts. Who am I to judge this man? I am a clown. I’ve been drunk in the morning. I’ve been an arsehole. I am arrogant. I’m NOT okay. I’ve got a friggin’ kink in my neck! This man, drunk or not, saw through me.

    I soften. This is the Path. This is Higher Guidance giving me an opportunity to practice compassion. I asked for it. I got it.

    So I started again. I welcomed this man to our meeting. I smiled at him. When I gave my speech I included him. I changed my feelings toward him.

    Near the end of the meeting he touched my shoulder. “May I leave for a few minutes?” “Of course,” I told him. Moments later, I saw him walking by the glass door that leads out into the hallway. He was using support canes. He’s handicapped.

    My God. Compassion? What about humility? This man was my greatest teacher, the embodiment of Higher Guidance, the answer to my prayer.

    After he returned and the meeting was over I shook his hand and encouraged him to come back. “I live 110 miles away,” he said. Of course he does. In which direction? Up, perhaps?

    I told him it was good to see him at our meeting. “Thank you,” he said, “And I hope you’re okay.”

    I am now.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When we are willing to be changed the Benevolent Life Force Energy of Universe will respond in kind. We will be given what we need in the most gentle and loving Way. Higher Guidance is ever-present.

    Brain Waves

    • April 27, 2010 7:47 am

    Dearest Readers,

    After taking a listening day yesterday I am feeling very calm and quite grounded. Taking the time to connect with the Higher Self has paid off.

    One of the things I “heard” while I was sitting quietly seeking Guidance was “do your homework”. Last week I had been given a little assignment by the woman who is my beloved Spiritual Director and I had yet to complete the task.

    We had been talking about two conflicting sides of myself and she had suggested I put pen to paper and write the conversation between them using my right hand to represent one side and my left hand the other. Am I ambidextrous? No. I am right-handed. Writing with my left hand is like trying to walk with one leg. But I have done this exercise before and the results have been fascinating and life-altering each time.

    The right hand is governed by the left brain. The left brain is logical and the right side of body is “male”. The left hand is governed by the right brain. The right brain is intuitive and the left side of the body is “female”.

    At one point in my walk on the healing path I was doing some work around accepting my male energy, embracing my masculine self. I wrote the conversation between male and female, left brain and right brain, alternating between using my right hand and left hand.

    After some back and forth banter, my Masculine Self wrote, “But you hold me in contempt,” after my Feminine Self had written, “I love you more than anything. I worship you.”

    That was a revelation! Was it possible that I could revere the Male while still holding men in contempt? Certainly it was. This discovery was a turning point for me and I began to actively practice loving and accepting my own maleness. Not long after this I chopped off all my hair.

    So yesterday’s conversation between Logic and Intuition also turned up some eye-opening instructions. I won’t share them here as I’m still processing exactly what they mean and I’m not on the other side just yet. Needless to say, this is an exercise that I highly recommend to anyone who is seeking Guidance and feels stuck.

    The left-brain/right-brain experience is most beautifully described by Jill Bolte Taylor, who had a stroke and was forced to experience Right Brain Living when the left side of her body shut down. If you haven’t watched her TED talk, I leave it with you now. Set aside 20 minutes and watch this. It’s phenomenal and seriously inspiring.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Jill Bolte Taylor’s Stroke of Insight.

    Shhhh

    • April 26, 2010 8:17 am

    Dearest Readers,

    The last blog I posted was about taking the time to look at the world around us. Looking is vital to our practice of Be-ing. What about listening?

    Last week I got a kink in my neck. I breathed through the pain, did positive affirmations, refused to give it power and it went away. Two days later it came back.

    Because I believe in and practice metaphysics, I adhere to the idea that there is something deeper going on with this pain in my neck. What is “a pain in the neck” in my life right now? That’s the obvious question. No real obvious answer, though. Other than taxes.

    Okay, take a break from doing the taxes. Thanks for the permission. Is there something more? I went to Louise Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life to find out her thoughts on the deeper meaning behind neck pain.

    Please keep an open mind about this. I have to. I take some things Louise says with a grain of salt. For example she corresponds an ingrown toenail with “worry and guilt about your right to move forward.” Yah.

    Anyway, according to Louise’s “List”, the neck represents flexibility and neck pain correlates to inflexibility. So where am I being inflexible? I went through all the things in my life and couldn’t really find a solid answer.

    Perhaps I’m not seeing it, perhaps it’s not there. Either way, I am not hearing a clear, definite response.

    I once heard someone say that prayer is asking for Higher Guidance and meditation is listening for It. This morning, in prayer, I realized that is precisely what I need to do today.

    So I’ve committed to doing a couple of things that cannot be put off until tomorrow but the rest of the to-do list is going to have to wait. I’m going to take the day to listen.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: What am I not hearing? Today I will take the time to get quiet and listen. I trust that in the Silence I will be given what it is I need to hear.

    Swan-ee, How I Love Ya

    • April 24, 2010 10:01 am

    Dearest Readers,

    When I got up this morning I happened to look out the window and way up high in the blue, blue sky I saw a “V” of swans flying in perfect formation. The rising sun was hitting their undersides turning their whiteness to shining gold. It was such a gift!

    We never know what we’ll see if we take the time to look. This idea reminded me of a man I once met who had been walking with his head down one day and found twenty bucks. This, he said, had taught him to always keep his head down. “If you keep your head down,” he’d told me, “You never know what you’ll see.”

    I remember thinking this was a little bit backward. “Keeping your head down” can mean “to do or say as little as possible in order to avoid problems or arguments” (Free Dictionary) but it can also indicate low self-esteem. I thought this guy was denying himself the feeling of personal power that can come from walking with head held high.

    But perhaps I’m wrong. Perhaps it doesn’t matter where we are looking as long as we have our eyes open. We can have our heads down and find money or our heads up and see signs of summer approaching. Head down or up, it’s our eyes that see the Light.

    Seeing those swans this morning brought me back to the Reality of Being. I was about to head into the day, guns blazing, attack the “to do” lists with gusto but there they were, those graceful birds calling my attention, stopping me, landing me in the present moment, reminding me of what is truly important: Beauty, Presence, Joy.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: We can never be reminded too often to stop, open our eyes and see the world around us. Today I will practice this process of continuing to land in my body, land in my life, land in the Power of Be-ing.

    Sing the Song of Thy Self

    • April 23, 2010 9:04 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Yesterday was Earth Day and although I think everyday should be Earth Day it is still a good thing to dedicate a single day to the cause of honouring our fair planet. It was inspiring to see, hear and read about all of the activities going on in the name of caring for this great ball of miracles and mysteries we call home.

    I went to join a community of folks taking part in a yoga class and a meditation and chanting circle. During the meditation portion we were asked to send out loving energy, if we wished, to a particular person or place. As we sat in silence, the leader read us some inspiring text which included words like, “May we be free of danger, may we have mental and physical happiness.”

    These words reminded me of a song I learned this past winter while on retreat at The Naramata Centre. I’ve been singing it over and over in my head since last night so I thought I’d share it with you.

    May I be filled with Loving Kindness
    May I be well
    May I be peaceful and at ease
    May I be happy

    The next verse is a wish for the Other:

    May You be filled with Loving Kindness
    May You be well
    May You be peaceful and at ease
    May You be happy

    Then comes the version for all of Us:

    May We be filled with Loving Kindness
    May We be well
    May We be peaceful and at ease
    May We be happy

    And the last verse brings it back to the individual in the form of an affirmation:

    I am filled with Loving Kindness
    I am well
    I am peaceful and at ease
    I am happy

    The tune is very childlike and quite pretty. I wish I could sing it for you. Then you, too, could get it stuck in your head.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: In the hustle and bustle of this day I will take a moment to recognize the amazing world around me. When I connect to the Reality of Being I am filled with Loving Kindness and I am happy.

    Thanks Be To Gladys

    • April 22, 2010 9:17 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Last fall, I blogged about a conversation with a friend who told me about a film called The Inn of the Sixth Happiness starring Ingrid Bergman as a missionary in China. My friend shared a courageous quote from the film with me and I’ve used it a lot ever since.

    Last weekend I was poring over the DVD’s at the local library and guess what I found? The Inn of the Sixth Happiness. Of course, I had to get it.

    Well, if you’ve already gone back to read the earlier post, you’ll see that I called the film a “B-movie that nobody saw”. Not exactly true. It wasn’t a B-movie at all. It was nominated for an Oscar and a number of other awards and was largely hailed at the time of its release.

    Another interesting point to correct is the quote my friend had shared. She remembered it as, “Yes, open the door.” In fact, when the guard asks the Bergman character if she is afraid she says, “Yes, I am afraid. Now open the gate.” Same diff but worth mentioning anyway.

    What is the sixth happiness? Bergman’s character, Gladys Aylward, also wants to know. According to the woman who Gladys asks, another female missionary, the Chinese believe there are five happinesses: wealth, longevity, good health, virtue and a peaceful death in old age. Gladys’ mentor then goes on to say that each person decides in her own heart what the sixth happiness is.

    Gladys Aylward was a real person. She was devoted to serving her God and gave her life to the Chinese people in myriad ways, including helping nearly one hundred orphans of war trek through dangerous mountains to safety. But at the end of the film Gladys gives up her devotion to service as well as the loving children she’s adopted to go back to a man with whom she’s fallen in love. Her sixth happiness is romantic love.

    Now, it’s not impossible for a person called by Higher Love to change her mind and follow the path of Romantic Love. But it’s a pretty radical shift so I did a little bit of research to find out if Gladys really did give up selfless service for marriage. Guess what? She did not.

    I found this quote in an online biography:

    “Please note that although Inn of the Sixth Happiness is a well-produced, heartwarming movie starring the great actress Ingrid Bergman it was a thorn in the side of Gladys Aylward. She was deeply embarrassed by the movie because it was so full of inaccuracies. Hollywood also took great liberties with her infatuation with the Chinese Colonel Linnan, even changing him into an Eurasian. But Gladys, the most chaste of women, was horrified to learn the movie had portrayed her in ‘love scenes’. She suffered greatly over what she considered her soiled reputation.”

    Can you imagine seeing your life portrayed in a major Hollywood film and the life they portray is actually not your own? Talk about having to “let go and let God!”

    All this to say that Gladys Aylward, the real Gladys Aylward, is now on my list of Inspiring Teachers. It might have been the writer of The Inn of the Sixth Happiness who gave us, “Yes, I am afraid. Now open the gate,” but it was Gladys who inspired her to write it.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: We can look for inspiration in those Great Teachers who have blazed the trail before us. When I am fearful I will remember their stories and use their courageous example to spur me on.

    Halfway There

    • April 21, 2010 9:46 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Today marks the official halfway point of my commitment to blog six days a week for one full year. I don’t know why but it feels like I should be celebrating. It’s a milestone, to be sure.

    For those of you who don’t know, this blog was started for a couple of reasons. The first was that I had just seen “Julie and Julia”, the film about the gal who blogs each day as she journeys through Julia Child’s cookbook. The second reason was that the cat I live with woke me up at 5 a.m. and when I prayed for help not to kill him the Still Small Voice whispered, “Start a blog.”

    Posting six days a week has its challenges and I’ll be honest, sometimes I resent the fact that I’ve made this commitment to myself. I’ve often considered reneging but somehow can’t bring myself to give up. Besides that, I do like it. A lot. And it helps me. I can be in a foul mood when I start writing and by the time I’m done the irritability has dissipated and I’m truly inspired.

    Knowing that I have faithful readers certainly helps. I noticed I lost a follower recently and that was a bit of a sad moment but I receive comments through email and in person and your positive feedback keeps me going.

    Apologies for the road block on the comments. I put it there because I got a spam-like comment that linked to a porn site. I’m presently building a new website and am trying to figure out how to transfer the blog over to the site so that people will be able to freely leave their comments each day. I so enjoy getting them and hope to make this happen soon.

    Overall, the purpose of this blog is inspire me and you to walk through our respective fears, cultivate courage to achieve our goals, and explore the adventure of our own lives. It is a little bit of experience shared and hope delivered. In the words of the great E.M. Forster, it is a way to “connect, only connect.”

    Inspiring Message of the Day: We are not alone. We are all in this together. Thank you to the Internet, that mad, exciting forum of the present and the future, for bringing us all together.

    Angelic Intervention

    • April 20, 2010 9:25 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Do you believe in angels? That is to say, have you ever had an encounter with a person who appeared just when you needed him to and who told you just what you needed to hear?

    A couple of weeks ago, on Easter Sunday, I went to the Anglican Church in Dawson City. I like to go to church on Easter. It feels like an appropriate thing to do. I like the singing and the children running around and I like the sense of community.

    What I’m not crazy about is the Resurrection story being told as historical fact. I can dig the Bible stories as metaphors but I’ve done a lot of reading about the historical significance of these stories and they were never, ever meant to be taken literally.

    So I’m sitting in church listening to the minister tell me that the story of the empty tomb is historically true and I’m getting madder and madder and I just want to leave or shout something like, “It’s a metaphor, dude!” but I know I can’t do that so I began to pray instead.

    “Help me to have tolerance for these people. Help me to have compassion. Help me. Help me. Help me.”

    The time came for communion. I’m not baptized and so I stayed in my seat. A man who was sitting in front of me turned around to talk to me while the rest of the congregation filed up to the front. Apparently he was not going up either.

    This man had looked back at me a couple of times at the beginning of the service and though I’d smiled at him I had judged him, too. He looked rough, bloodshot eyes, missing teeth, raggedy clothes. I thought, “He’s a broken down alcoholic.”

    He asked me where I was from and I told him. He began to tell me a bit of his story. He spoke of his grandparents, both dead now, who’d lived into their 100’s, whom he’d cared for in their final years. He told me about life in the bush and living on the land, the wisdom of his elders and the gifts they had given him. Moved by his kindness, my heart cracked open and eyes filled with tears.

    He said, “If the Sun sent us a heating bill we’d all be in debt.”

    As the service resumed he turned around and faced the front. The light from the giving Sun shone through the stained glass and lit the room anew. The music swelled, filling the whole place up with life. I stood up to sing with the people I’d previously judged. We sang as one.

    When I told this story to a friend recently she said, “You met an angel.” Angel or man, he opened my heart. I was moved from anger and judgment to love and compassion. I has asked for help and immediately received it.

    The real point of the Resurrection story and this story, too, is that there is something Greater at work. There are things that happen that we cannot explain. There is a Power that responds to our needs. This Power is Love.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Yes, I’m actually going to quote ABBA for the IMD: “I believe in angels. Something good in everything I see. I believe in angels. When I know the time is right for me.”