Movin’ On Up

Dearest Readers,

A snippet of a conversation from yesterday with a fellow yogi:

(hugging hello)

Her: How are you?

Me: Today is rough.

(she hugs me more tightly)

Her: Is it post-Olympic blues?

Me: Must be.

Her: Could be seasonal. I was talking to X and she’s off her game. I’m feeling sadness, too.

Me: I don’t buy into the seasonal thing at all. It’s FEAR and it’s my responsibility to figure out what it’s about and right now it’s manifesting as WRATH.

Her: Excellent.

(she smiles)

Me: Yeah, it is excellent.

(we laugh heartily)

Well, the first thing I notice as I look back on this moment is my own lack of compassion. The second is how hard I am on myself (see responsibility part in conversation as well as sentence immediately preceding this one) and the third is how humour can defuse any bomb.

So let me now offer compassion to those who do suffer from SAD or whose emotions are particularly susceptible to seasonal changes. For me, when I am off my game, what I find most helpful is an investigation into the fear.

When I ask myself “What is fear behind this feeling?” I often find that I am able to release the emotional pain, which may be manifesting as fatigue, anger, sadness, or depression.

So what is the fear behind my current emotional state? The fear of moving forward. If I put my life on hold by remaining in “depression” I won’t have to experience failure, criticism, rejection, disappointment and all the other good things that come with success.

Okay, so now I have awareness. Next comes the more challenging part: being willing to change.

Being aware of the truth about the fear makes it somewhat easier to change but becoming willing to change is a whole other matter. Because If I’m willing to change it means I gotta. It means I have to let go of trying to control the situation. It means I have to fall into the unknown.

Scary.

But, as one of our heroes, Eleanor Roosevelt, says, we must do the thing we think we cannot do. And once we do that, and come out the other side, we see that it’s possible. And once we know that it’s possible we can do it again. And again. Soon we have a track record of courage behind us.

My own track record is about ten miles long already. So I do know, in my heart of hearts, that by walking through my fear, by moving forward, by heading into the unknown I am going to be okay.

Not only am I going to be okay I’m going to be amazed. Good things are waiting. Courage merits Grace.

Inspiring Message of the Day: One more time I will become willing to walk through the fear that is holding me back, keeping me from my Highest Good, blocking the Spirit of Love that is available to me at all times should I choose to accept it.

It’s a Hit

Dearest Readers,

This post is being written in the wee hours of the morning pre-flight to Vancouver and post-show at the Yukon Arts Centre. That’s right, tonight we premiered the Big O Project for the locals and tomorrow we take it to the Olympics to represent.

This show has been a big part of my life for the last 6 months. My vision for the piece has, from day one, been to inspire the punters (a word the Irish use when referring to the audience — I picked it up while living there and still love to say it).

Tonight the vision became a reality. The punters went wild!

Six months ago I almost said no to this job. I didn’t want to create a stadium show. I couldn’t see how it could be in the slightest bit artistic. When I told this to a friend she said, “Well, that’s fine, Celia. As long as it’s not fear.”

Boy, did she nail it. It was fear.

And I walked through it. And here I am on the other side of it. Having created, with more help than I can adequately describe here, an artistic stadium show.

I’ll be posting from Vancouver.

Inspiring Message of the Day: When we let fear hold us back we rob ourselves of life’s most profound experiences. I will say “yes” to something today that I’m afraid of.