• Collective Grief

    • March 8, 2010 10:42 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Lately I’ve been blogging a lot about how we can reconcile the difficult, terrifying and atrocious things that happen in the world. As you’ve probably gathered, acceptance is one of the tools that I advocate. Using what I call The Spiritual Solution, or seeing the world from a Higher Perspective, is another.

    Yesterday, after reading a short story about a young Irish girl who goes to live with her aunt and uncle for the summer, I remembered one more: balling your eyes out.

    I’m not sure if the story moved me so deeply because it was about fathers and daughters or because it took place in Ireland, where I used to live, or because it was about running, which I used to do avidly as a young girl, or whether it was all of these things combined, but I got to the end and friggin’ lost it.

    It occurred to me as I wept into the cloth napkin I was holding and tried to finish the bite of salad I’d just taken (I happened to be eating my lunch while reading the story) that I was also crying for the Haitians, the Chileans, my friend with metastasic cancer, and for all the suffering that goes on in the world every single day.

    It felt good. To grieve. To feel. It’s tempting to numb out in the face of such deep pain because we’re essentially powerless to change what has happened in any given situation. Our only power lies in our response.

    If our response is to take action to make changes in our own lives or support the changes in the lives of others it can sure help to have a good ol’ cry before we begin.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When was the last time I really felt the grief that is created in me through the world’s suffering? I will find a way to feel my feelings deeply so that I can move forward. I will shed a layer of sorrow to make room for hope.

    Healing Words of a Mystic

    • March 6, 2010 9:37 am

    Dearest Readers,

    An article in The New Yorker magazine about the aftermath of the January 12th earthquake in Haiti stopped me in my tracks yesterday. Rather it was this sentence that did it: “One day, I saw a man tied to a pole, hacked up by machetes and beaten to death with rocks.”

    The reporter who wrote it was driving through the city helping a woman find food for her community. He saw this and worse.

    I couldn’t read anymore and I put the article away. Only that morning had I blogged about the inspiration and hope instilled in me by the story of Nelson Mandela’s act of unifying his country through forgiveness.

    How do we reconcile ourselves with such horror in the world as is taking place in Haiti even now as I write this?

    The only way I am able to do so is by shifting my perception to the spiritual. Atrocities cannot be understood with the human mind. We must seek to understand these things through a Higher Lens.

    The following quote from Hadewijch of Antwerp helps me to do this:

    “We must be continually aware that noble service and suffering are proper to man’s condition… [T]he true justice of Love [means that] where Love is, there are always great labors and difficult pains.

    Love, nevertheless, finds all pains sweet… With the Humanity of God you must live here on earth, in labors and sorrow, while within your soul you love and rejoice with the omnipotent and eternal Divinity in sweet abandonment.

    For the truth of both is one single fruition… [Y]ou must here with Love surrender yourself to both in unity. Serve humbly under their sole power, stand always before them prepared to follow their will in its entirety, and let them bring about in you whatever they wish.”

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I will practice accepting this world as it is, a world where both Love and Sorrow are True. I will do my best to serve humbly under their sole power, which is the Spirit of Unity Back of All Things.

    Visionary Leadership

    • March 5, 2010 9:35 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Today I am inspired by a man who spent almost 30 years in prison and then became a peaceful world leader. A man who embraced the country that once despised him and set about healing the wrongs of the past with love and understanding. A man who believed in forgiveness instead of revenge.

    This is Nelson Mandela.

    Last night I went to see Invictus, the film by Clint Eastwood about Mandela’s vision to unite his country using rugby. It’s an incredibly uplifting story, all the more so because it’s true.

    “Invictus” means inconquerable (I had to look it up) and it is the title of the poem that inspired Mandela to move forward, to never give up, to see the positive in the negative and to overcome his situation while in prison.

    Here it is:

    Invictus

    Out of the night that covers me,
    Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
    I thank whatever gods may be
    For my unconquerable soul.

    In the fell clutch of circumstance
    I have not winced nor cried aloud.
    Under the bludgeonings of chance
    My head is bloody, but unbowed.

    Beyond this place of wrath and tears
    Looms but the Horror of the shade,
    And yet the menace of the years
    Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

    It matters not how strait the gate,
    How charged with punishments the scroll.
    I am the master of my fate:
    I am the captain of my soul.

    William Ernest Henley (1849-1902)

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I believe in the power of forgiveness. It can change a man, his country and it can change the world. I will practice forgiveness in my own life knowing it is the most radical and most effective approach to healing myself and our planet.

    X Factor

    • March 4, 2010 9:31 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Years ago, before I got on the healing path, I was in a deeply dysfunctional relationship that could only truly be described as totally self-destructive. I probably shouldn’t even call it a relationship because we never did have a commitment to one another. We would just get loaded and then end up in bed.

    For a time, this person and I lived together, trying to make our non-committed, non-relationship work. It was a disaster. We ended up parting ways under extremely uncomfortable circumstances and for years afterward I held this person in contempt, full of anger and resentment at the way things turned out.

    Last night, a friend and I were talking about past relationships and I was relating some of the above story to help her through her own situation. We were talking about what it takes to forgive the person we feel has wronged us.

    We both agreed that it takes a lot!

    Part of the difficulty comes from the fear of letting go. If I forgive him then he gets away with it! If I let her off the hook that means what she did is okay! If I let go it means… what does it mean?

    It means I get to be free.

    But… but… it means he/she gets to be free, too. And that’s not fair. He hurt me! She wronged me! She deserves to be punished. He should pay!

    The irony is, because the fear of letting go is keeping me holding on, I am the one who is, in fact, paying. He’s just living his life. She’s just doing her thing. I’m in bondage to the desire to see him/her suffer. I’m not free.

    The idea that I’d be letting my former lover off the hook kept me holding on to my anger/hurt for a very long time. In order to begin the process of letting go I needed to become willing to see that this person’s punishment was not my responsibility. By making it mine I was giving away my power to the past and thereby eroding my own sense of self-worth.

    It’s taken years but as I told my friend last night, I have managed to let go of the hurt and the anger. I’ve worked my butt off to allow forgiveness into my heart. Forgive the person, forgive myself. Challenging. But worth it. Because I’m no longer in bondage to the past or to the person.

    So then wouldn’t you know it, this very person appeared in my dream last night. As my lover.

    In the dream, we were getting back together but not in the past, in the present. This person was healed, I was healed. Our love was new and exciting. We were mutually supportive and respectful. Our intimacy was deeply sensual and a heck of a lot of fun.

    What does this mean?

    For me, the relationship in the dream represents total reconciliation with the wounded/hurt/angry part of myself. She is (I am) over it. She is healed and so I am healed. Together we are whole. We are Self-Love, embodied. New and exciting, mutually supportive and respectful, sensual and fun.

    Free.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Am I afraid that if I forgive someone I will be letting him/her off the hook? Can I accept that it’s not my job to make sure he/she is punished? Today I will become willing to let go of the wound in exchange for my freedom.

    Pro-Rogue

    • March 3, 2010 10:21 am

    Dearest Readers,

    All y’all may get tired of me posting how the Creative Power of the Universe will specifically respond to our questions but I will never get tired of blogging about it.

    Here’s the latest:

    As we de-planed yesterday at the Whitehorse Airport I saw a woman holding that book by Sarah Palin called “Going Rogue.”

    “What exactly does rogue mean, anyway?” I thought to myself.

    As I’ve mentioned before, I am a member of Toastmasters International and one of the standard practices at all TM meetings is the Word of the Day.

    The TM meeting I attend is for early birds as it takes place at 7 a.m. on Wednesday mornings. This morning I had to drag myself out of bed to get there. I didn’t have to go but I’ve missed a number of meetings over the course of the last couple of months and I knew if I didn’t go today I might never get there again.

    When I arrived, a fellow member was writing the Word of the Day on a white board. By now, no doubt, you’ve guessed what it was. Rogue.

    What this tells me is that I am in the Flow, bruthas and sistahs. I am in tune with the Cosmic Consciousness. Not because I’m special but because I have been vigilant about creating and sustaining my relationship with Higher Guidance. I work at it. Everyday. And it pays off.

    BTW, “rogue” means “a person whose behavior one disapproves of but who is nonetheless likable or attractive”. In case you didn’t know.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I will continue to pray and meditate, to seek a connection with the Spirit of Unity Back of All Things. When I make this connection a priority I am shown in both small and great ways that I am truly supported.

    The Morning After

    • March 2, 2010 9:12 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Now back in Vancouver (and heading home today) I have been experiencing the energy of this city in all its post-Olympics glory. The people are abuzz with happiness and joy. It’s thrilling to witness and to have been a part of it feels very special.

    Coming here yesterday I was expecting to experience a city with a big, fat hangover but it seems that nobody got drunk! Everyone must have engaged in that most perplexing of activities called social drinking because from what I can tell, no one is sick and tired and full of remorse and regret. I have seen only gracious pride and unity. Too cool!

    Reading through one of the Vancouver papers yesterday, I was struck by how positive all the reporting was. There were a few altercations mentioned, protesters going too far and things like that but all in all, thousands and thousands of people behaved themselves and got along.

    Some might say, “Duh.” No-brainer. We are Canadian, after all. But we are also human beings who can be wild beasts when given the opportunity. And this was a global crowd.

    Something about this particular Olympic party encouraged the vast majority of its guests to be peaceful. We were almost entirely unified in our restrained approach to celebrating the bigness of the event.

    I find this incredibly hopeful. If you are one of those people who thinks we’re all going to hell in a hand basket (I’m not) then surely you are encouraged by such a mass demonstration of togetherness. People can certainly be boors but we can also be real gems, too.

    Let’s celebrate the hope for humanity for once, shall we? None of this “we’re doomed because we’re destroying the planet” thinking allowed here. We’re doing well, folks. Instead, let’s give ourselves a collective pat on the back for sharing the spirit of the times in such an inspiring way.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I will look for opportunities today to connect with my fellow gems knowing we are all in this together and together we can make the world a more hopeful and unified place.

    Dogged Determination

    • March 1, 2010 10:04 am

    Dearest Readers,

    About three years ago I decided I needed a vacation. I’m not very good at lying on a beach and having a cabana boy bring me drinks so I started to research alternatives. I was interested in doing something that would enrich my inner life so I Googled “spiritual vacation british columbia.”

    What I ended up finding was a little piece of paradise in Naramata, BC, where the Naramata Centre sits on the edge of Lake Okanagan surrounded by lush vineyards and rugged hills. As I leave here today, after my third retreat in three years in this giving place, I am truly grateful for Google and its astonishing wisdom.

    What a spiritual vacation gives me that a regular vacation does not is discernment. This computer’s dictionary describes discernment as “perception in the absence of judgment with a view to obtaining spiritual direction and understanding.”

    I go on spiritual vacation in order to perceive what I cannot yet see so that I may follow the next course of action in my life.

    Last week, after the presentation of the Big O Project in front of 10,000+ people I reported that except for one glitch the show went off without a hitch. I also noted that participating artists and presenters were all ecstatic with the final results.

    A few friends responded to my concerns about the glitch with tremendous support. “No one notices these things,” they said.

    But I noticed. And the glitch was, in fact, a team of live dogs that got so scared by the noise, the lights and the crowd, that they cowered on stage and had to be pulled off by their handler.

    At the time, I was on stage myself, in the role of happy crowd-pleaser, encouraging the masses to clap and dance to the rockin’ music being played to accompany the dogs.

    Talk about acting! I was mortified to see the dogs so disturbed and if I had been being truthful to what I was really feeling I would have gone immediately to comfort them instead of clapping and dancing and smiling with joy.

    After it was over I was back stage, in this enormous stadium, standing beside the giant torch that was the eye-popping centrepiece for the Opening and Closing Ceremonies of the 2010 Olympics, breathing deeply and trying to digest the remorse in my gut. I felt full of shame over what had happened. It was not my greatest moment.

    Coming here, to Naramata, seeking discernment, seeking rest, I have been given “perception in the absence of judgment” with regard to this incident, which I’ve been trying to process since it happened. I am glad to say that I have been given the spiritual understanding of the situation that I was seeking. I am now at peace with it.

    Without going into everything that happened to get me here, I will tell you the story of the very last piece of the puzzle:

    Last evening, as the sun set and the birds danced and sang all around me, I stood on the threshold of the Centre’s Labyrinth, a mystical path used for meditation, with a question.

    “What can I offer? What can I give?”

    I entered the single path that leads by twists and turns and curving lines, by one way in and one way out, and I walked, step-by-step toward the centre, listening for the answer to my questions.

    Just two steps away from the flower-shaped centre two dogs came bounding up to me, seemingly from nowhere. As I greeted them with great love and affection I realized that the answer to my question had just arrived, manifest in the very real figures of these two shaggy beasts.

    As they bounded away and I stepped into the heart of the Labyrinth the words washed over me.

    “The dogs. I can offer the dogs.”

    I had been blaming myself for the terrible fear I saw in the stage dogs’ faces, for putting them through that ordeal. The Labyrinth dogs represented the permission I needed to finally let go of my shame over the stadium incident, AKA the “glitch”.

    What can we do with a situation that plagues us in order to move forward? How can we let it go? How can we accept and learn from it?

    We can offer it to the same Loving Power that sends us the answers to our deepest questions.

    Beats the beach and a cabana boy any day, no?

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When I am carrying a heavy burden I can offer it up. I do not have to hang on to that which weighs me down. I can give it to the Source of All Things and be free.