• No Bull (Durham)

    • September 1, 2010 10:42 am

    Dearest Readers,

    “When a defining moment comes along, you define the moment, or the moment defines you.”

    Who said that? Abe Lincoln? Barack Obama? Susan B. Anthony?

    No, it was Kevin Costner, movie star.

    I came across this quote while I was preparing to do a speech for Toastmasters and I like it. The meaning is rich and it speaks to the choice that we all have to see the glass half empty or the glass half full.

    For example, Costner may be a multiple-Academy-Award-winning filmmaker but he’ll forever be remembered as the guy who made Waterworld. Does anyone remember that film as being anything other than a major bomb?

    But how would the Man Who Dances with Wolves remember it? Kevin himself, if we are to believe that he truly walks his talk, would probably choose to define the moment rather than have it define him.

    He might tell us that Waterworld made more than $242 million worldwide (and it “only” cost $175 million to make). He’d definitely tell us that it was nominated for multiple awards including an Oscar (okay, it was Best Sound but still…). By focusing on the positive, he would then be defining the moment rather than have it define him.

    During the speech I gave I shared a few stories from my past that I consider to be defining moments. Not because they were particularly glorious but because the circumstances surrounding each of them could easily have defined me, if I had let them. Instead, in each scenario, I made a decision to turn the circumstances around. I chose to see the positive.

    This kind of decision-making is being presented to all of us every day in myriad ways. It takes great courage to continue to define our moments rather than have them define us, to say “I did this” rather than “this happened to me.” Shifting our perception isn’t easy. We’re twisting the brain, so to speak. But by doing so we’re participating in our lives rather than passively going along for the ride.

    Just like Kevin Costner, Hollywood success story.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: How can I take a more active role in defining the big and small moments of my life? How can I see things in a more positive light? Today, rather than feeling like my moments are defining me, I will choose to define my moments by looking at the positive outcome rather than the negative.

    I Yam Who I Yam

    • August 31, 2010 7:35 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Yesterday I attended a “Business After Hours” function hosted by our local Chamber of Commerce. I joined the Chamber last year in order to build the Inspiring Works business and broaden my reach as a speaker, workshop facilitator and coach. These after-work-meet-and-greets happen often but guess what? I have never gone.

    Until yesterday. I decided I needed to walk through my fear and get out there with my business card. I put on my dress pants and the Spank heels from Vangroovy and plunged myself into unknown territory. Despite the fact that it felt extremely uncomfortable to get out of my comfort zone (funny that) I managed to chat with people easily and share with them what I am all about. Talk about Cultivating Your Courage!

    There are two more Chamber functions this morning and when I was getting dressed a short while ago the thought of putting on those heels and those biz-casual slacks made me feel queasy. It’s just not me, folks. Sure, I can play the part. I’m a performer. But I’d rather feel like Celia than an actor playing her.

    How can I dress appropriately and still feel like myself? I figured something out. I may not look like a business woman but I look like a woman who means business.

    I look like who I really am.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: We can try to be like other people but why bother? Our Authentic Self is vastly more interesting. Today I will be True to who I am. I will shine my Beautiful Light just as it is.

    O Happy Day

    • August 30, 2010 10:16 am

    Dearest Readers,

    A couple of days ago I was invited to a friend’s house for a late afternoon chat about all things marvelous and magnificent. When I arrived at his place the sun was shining, the sky was blue, the birds were probably singing and upon seeing me he said, “Wonderful good afternoon!”

    This greeting reminded me of a fellow on the ashram who used to say, “Wonderful good morning,” when greeting people at the start of the day. It always made me smile.

    As greetings go, nothing can beat Charlotte‘s first hello to Wilbur the Pig. “Salutations!” she says to him. What a great way to teach a kid a big word. I’ve never forgotten it.

    Then there is the Good Morning Good Morning song by The Beatles that repeats the line three or four times in a row with ramped-up energy and verve. Love that, too. It never fails to get the juices flowing.

    Why all this focus on greetings and salutations this morning? Because I’m feeling a lot of gratitude and humility today. A heart full of gladness and willingness to be of service. I have a life beyond my wildest dreams and I’m sharin’ the Love, people.

    Here’s hoping that “after a while you start to smile…”

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Salutations! Wonderful good morning! Good morning good morning good morning good morning ah! May those of us who are feeling joyful today inspire the ones who are struggling with a smile and an ebullient greeting.

    Don’t Deny It, Defy It!

    • August 28, 2010 10:40 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Those of you who have participated in the Cultivate Your Courage workshop I lead on occasion will know that one of the tools I use to walk through fear is to first admit that I have it. After spending most of my life acting as if I was afraid of nothing and therefore being afraid of everything I finally realized the ruse wasn’t working for me. Like, at all.

    Paradoxically, I discovered that when I admit I am afraid the fear lessens, often disappearing altogether. This method has now become a regular personal practice, which I do my best to share with whomever cares to listen.

    Recently I was speaking with someone who had never actually heard of this concept let alone imagined that it could work. He, like me, had believed that if he denied his fear he would overcome it. What he had discovered (the same way I did) is that his fear had, in fact, gained power over him and was now running his life. By pretending he wasn’t afraid he had unwittingly been giving his fear permission to grow.

    (Gentle aside to all of us who think we are: We are not alone.)

    I’ll never forget the day I put up my hand and said, “I am a fear-based person!” No one else was in the room with me but I swear to you I heard an arena-sized cheer erupting around me. It was so freeing! My whole life I’d been saying, “I’m not afraid, I’m not afraid,” while the fear churned sickeningly inside of me. Now, by simply saying, “I am afraid, yes. I really am,” I suddenly felt more peaceful. The raging waters of terror stilled and the calmness of Truth prevailed.

    This discovery changed my life. And I invite you to allow it to change yours, too. I will be leading a Cultivate Your Courage Teleclass in September during which we will be exploring this and other tools to overcome the fear that robs us of joy and personal freedom. The first class is free and I’ll be using it to describe what we will be exploring in the following three classes.

    We’re all in this together, folks. Please join me.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: If I deny the fear I cannot defy it. Yes, I am afraid. Now open the door.

    Lost and Found

    • August 27, 2010 10:36 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Good news! I am now blogging from a brand-new (used) 13″ MacBook and she’s an absolutely lovely little thing. The brilliant team at Meadia Solutions also managed to recover the contents of the hard drive off the iBook I lost last week.

    All together now: Hallelujah!

    This means that the 16 pages of GITA that I had painstakingly excavated from the Ether is intact. I don’t have to start from scratch. I was prepared to do that. I knew the chances of recovery were slim and that I may well have had to go back to the beginning. I was steeling myself for the results of the “operation” with a combination of gritted teeth and total surrender.

    The surrendered part of me even began to be excited by the idea of having to start all over again. It felt like an opportunity to free fall. The gritted-teeth part of me, however, was not so excited about beginning anew. This idea felt more like having to climb Mount Everest. So you can imagine how thankful I am that those 16 pages are still in existence.

    It was interesting to see the different reactions in people to the dilemma. One guy, a journalist friend, said, “Hey, I’ve lost stuff and the new draft was actually way better. A clean slate can do wonders for the piece.” His reaction helped bring on the excitement.

    But another guy, a computer technician, grabbed his heart and practically fainted. He understands the importance of backing things up and for him it meant a monumental loss. His mock-heart-attack made me very glad I got the work back.

    Last week, when I was in no man’s land, waiting for clarity on how to proceed after the laptop got cooked, I had tea with a fellow artist. During our discussion we spoke of all the challenges and the joys of creating and striving and persevering in our craft. When we parted she said something to me that hit me with such a weight that I had to write it down.

    From my little notebook I now give you her gem:

    “Let’s get together again and share about the desperately courageous act of trying to create.”

    Whump. I don’t know where that hits you but if you’re an artist (or if you avoiding being an artist) it will hit you between the eyes, in the heart, the gut and the groin. Why? Because she nailed it.

    It takes courage, desperate courage to create art. Creating is an act of trust. Something is going to come. Moving into that place of trust is often glorious, seldom easy and mostly terrifying. What keeps me going is believing deeply in that old adage about the artist being the instrument. It’s not about me.

    So today I will get back to the writing of GITA and I will do so with 16 pages of a draft to support me. But if I didn’t have those 16 pages I would still summon that courage, that desperate courage, and I would begin anew, trusting that the ideas, the characters, the story would be there.

    BTW, thanks be to the God of Hard Drives.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Today, despite the terror of beginning anew, I will jump in to the act of creation with Courage and Trust.

    Thank you, Moses

    • August 26, 2010 7:50 am

    Dearest Readers,

    This morning I feel like singing Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus. I feel like the Red Sea has parted and I’m walking along the cleared, dry path to freedom. I’ve had a breakthrough.

    There is still some processing I need to do so I won’t get specific and the details are not actually what’s important. It’s not about what happened as much as it is how it happened.

    Stick-to-it-iveness. Perseverance. Talking it out. These are some of the tools I employed to find my way out of the mire and into the clearing. When I felt like giving up I didn’t. When I wanted to withdraw I put myself out there. When my fear told me to isolate I told someone about it.

    These inspired actions coupled with some pretty deep prayer and meditation kept the process moving forward and eventually afforded me the “a-ha moment” that I had last night.

    A very short time ago I was in emotional turmoil. My energy was really blocked. I didn’t know why and I simply could not figure it out in my head. The confused mind cannot solve the problem. It’s confused!

    The answer must come from a Deeper Place. The Heart. The Gut. The Great Spirit. Anywhere but the mind, where the difficulty originates.

    So, my friends, the words to a sweet, sweet song by Van Morrison are swirling around inside me today. “Yes, it feels like a Brand New Day.”

    That and Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Halle-lu-jah!

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When I am confused or my energy is blocked I will not try and solve the issue by thinking about it. I will use the Greater Methods of the Spirit to make my way to the other side and I will trust that Clarity will eventually come.

    Healing Power

    • August 24, 2010 8:48 am

    Dearest Readers,

    As I was lying in the corpse pose at the end of my yoga practice this morning my mind began to wander to the subject of today’s blog. What would it be?

    “The transition you are in,” came the response.

    I am currently in the process of shedding yet another old belief system. Yup, some more old BS that is no longer working for me has got to go.

    Admittedly, it’s not a lot of fun. What keeps me willing to go through the Grief of Change is having faith in the fact that I will come to know a new freedom at the end of it.

    Before I began this post I checked email. Not a good idea and a habit in which I do my best not to indulge. Email has a way of sucking the energy out of the creative act. But it turns out it was the right thing to do this morning for I was sent a quote by a friend describing perfectly the Healing Process and the Courage required to go through it.

    “If you enter into healing, be prepared to lose everything. Healing is a ravaging force to which nothing seems sacred or inviolate. As my original pain releases itself in healing, it rips to shreds the structures and foundations I built in weakness and ignorance. Ironically and unjustly, only I can pay the price of having lived a lie. I’m experiencing the bizarre miracle of reincarnation, more lucidly than at birth, in the same lifetime.”

    Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis

    I haven’t read the book nor have I heard of either of these women but they just made my day.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When I am in a time of transition I will remember that the pain I’m feeling is rooted in my reincarnation. I will practice acceptance and keep my eyes on the prize: Re-Birth.

    Dive In To You

    • August 21, 2010 8:31 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Today I am going on poustinia. I have friends with an empty cabin on a lake and they’ve given me the key. I’m only going for 24 hours but 24 hours in the desert can be quite a stretch.

    What I’ve discovered since the laptop got fried is how addicted I am to the distraction it provided me. This iPhone on which I now write has the same (false) power. The loss of the computer is not so deeply felt because I can use this hand-held device instead. The temptation to always be online or plugged in is very great.

    I’m not bringing the iPhone with me to the cabin. That would defeat the whole purpose. But I’ve thought about it more than a few times. Come on, just to watch a movie?

    It’s shocking to discover the depth at which I have come to depend on these machines. They provide a great feeling of escape (most of the time). Poustinia is just the opposite. There is no escaping. I have to face my Self with no distraction.

    I’ll let you know how it goes.

    Inspiring Message of the Day:     What would happen if I turned off all the noise in my life? The radio, the TV, the phones, the computer, everything I use as a distraction? I would be left with Great Silence. Despite my fear I am willing to dive in with both feet!

    Welcome Freshness

    • August 20, 2010 8:37 am

    Dearest Readers,

    It’s been grey and wet here in Whitehorse for a few days in a row now. We needed rain badly so no one dares to complain about it. I was on a hike last weekend and the mountain lichen was crunching underneath our feet like crispy cereal. This wet weather is very welcome.

    After almost a year of posting blogs it’s sometimes difficult to remember whether I’m repeating myself or if I’ve told the story elsewhere so if you’ve heard this one already, forgive me.

    When I was on Spiritual Retreat at the Naramata Centre last February I met a man on the road and we began to have a conversation. Of course, being human as we are, our discussion began with the weather. There was a light rain falling and the man found it very pleasant. He was from a dry place where rain was scarce.

    “It’s so fresh,” he said, taking a deep breath and smiling. “I just love this freshness.”

    Fresh? It was the first time I’d ever heard anyone describe a dull, dreary, rainy and grey day as fresh. I myself have always struggled to love rain. But when this man said that word and took that breath and smiled that smile I could feel the freshness he was talking about. The winter green around us got brighter and the cool air suddenly felt rich and moist.

    After that episode I am forever feeling the freshness of the rain. That man’s positive attitude completely shifted my experience of dreary weather.

    Talk about a fresh perspective.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Is there something in my life that needs a fresh pair of eyes? What can I look at differently today? I will find a way to gain a fresh perspective on something I have previously viewed with disdain.

    Power Surge

    • August 19, 2010 12:10 pm

    Dearest Readers,

    Yesterday afternoon, while I was working away on the to-do list, our fair city experienced a power outage. The laptop sitting before me, the conduit for all of my business, made an ominous sounding “zzzt” and the screen went suddenly black. I found myself staring dumbfounded at a dead machine.

    RIP iBook G4.

    Yes, the little technical wizard that has been my constant and faithful companion for the last four years is now totally kaput. Burnt. Fried. Deader than a doornail.

    I’m surprisingly calm about it. This probably has to do with the fact that I backed everything up on an external hard drive just two weeks ago. Still, there is two weeks of work on there that may or may not be retrievable. But I’m still here, folks. We do survive the loss of things.

    A few years ago I saw an interview with the great writer Toni Morrison, who wrote one of my favourite books of all time, Song of Solomon, and she was talking about a house fire which had destroyed all of her unpublished and yet-to-be-published work. She was obviously devastated by the ordeal but also resigned to her new reality.

    “I have to let it go,” she said. There was nothing she could do.

    There is nothing I can do either. I may have lost almost 20 pages of a new play. Toni Morrison lost novels. I’m not comparing pain merely putting things into perspective.

    I can’t help thinking of what my reaction might have been a few short years ago. Rage. I might have damaged something. Today I feel no anger. I almost feel relief! I cannot access any of the files currently vying for my attention and so I’m being forced to let go absolutely of certain tasks. I am getting a much needed break.

    Perhaps that power outage was made just for me.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Today I will accept the things I cannot change. I will remember that my possessions do not make or break me. I will enjoy the freedom that comes from letting go.