• Nassau to New Orleans Not-So-Direct

    • June 28, 2010 11:54 am

    Dearest Readers,

    The City of New Orleans is real. I’m here. It sounds arrogant but I don’t mean it to be. How do you know a place really exists until you’ve been there?

    After leaving the ashram on Paradise Island I flew from Nassau to Miami where I overnighted in a hotel in Coral Gables, The City Beautiful.The hotel was full of immigrant men from South and Southeast Asia waiting to start their jobs as “crew.” I assumed that meant for the cruise ships but I didn’t get a chance to find out.

    Next morning I was on a bus heading here, to the city of Mardi Gras and Katrina, a place that makes me think of movies I loved growing up: Easy Rider, Angel Heart, The Big Easy Along the way we stopped in all kinds of wacky places. Ask me about Tallahassee sometime.

    After arriving in the early dawn to a sun rising on the magnificent Lake Pontchartrain Causeway that traverses Lake Pontchartrain I grabbed a taxi outside the Greyhound Station and headed for this fabulously historic B&B, Terrel House.

    This is the Deep South. What I came here to experience. And I am. The Bush-hatin’ cabbie I flagged told me it never used to be this hot in New Orleans but it was getting hotter all the time because the Bible said it would. A kid serving me in a grocery store called me Ma’am. Much of the architecture in this city recalls days when parasols and fans would have been used to survive the heat. Now air-conditioning is ever-present everywhere.

    I’ve got it turned off. I came to experience the heat, too.

    For two days I will soak up what I can. Everyone has said, “Go to the French Quarter.” I’m more curious about Katrina’s scars and Treme but I’m just going to see where the wind (proverbial — it’s dead still) takes me.

    Thunder is rumbling in close skies and a train is bleating it’s horn in the near distance. The fountain in the courtyard outside this carriage-house room is gurgling away. I’ve got the door wide open. Even if that cabbie was right I’m gonna embrace it.

    Inspiring Message of the Day:     O to be Alive in this Great World!  The Wonders of Humanity and Nature, cruel and kind, bitter and sweet, so rich, so abundant, so jaw-droppingly awesome! Let our hearts sing with thanks.

    Post 611

    • June 26, 2010 12:40 pm

    Dearest Readers,

    In yesterday’s post I wrote about having a grieving session for all the pain and sorrow in the world. Last night, a woman I’ve come to know over the course of this last week on the ashram gave me the gift of one her hand-painted cards as a token of our new friendship. The card depicted the image of Guan Yin.

    On the back of the card it reads:

    “Chinese Goddess of Mercy and Compassion. Her name means ‘She who bears the weeping of the world.’ She takes away our anguish, our sorrow, and our pain. She watches over the children of the earth and answers our prayers.”

    When I was crying so deeply the other day I was experiencing the strangest sensation of bearing the weeping of those who could not weep. By doing so I felt as though I was somehow helping to take away their anguish.

    Now I am in no way suggesting that I am Guan Yin but perhaps I was channeling her Energy. When my friend handed me that card it certainly felt like something Greater than a simple Celia sob session had taken place.

    The ashram is like that. Things happen  to make you go “hmmm” all the time. The Yogis would say, “Of course.” The Vibrations are very high here. Makes sense.

    Does it make sense to think that there is a Chinese goddess watching over us and answering our prayers? Perhaps not. But who needs sense when you have Guanyin on your side?

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When we allow ourselves to experience real grief we are allowing a Greater Power to work through us. Often, this Truth will be revealed in the aftermath through a coincidence. I will allow these moments of Mystery and Connection to deepen my trust in Higher Guidance.

    Pass It On

    • June 25, 2010 9:01 am

    Dearest Readers,

    My time on the ashram is fast (slowly) coming to a close. I will lead the final Cultivate Your Courage workshop this afternoon and once again, it has been a powerful experience for all who participated.

    One of the things that never ceases to amaze me when I lead this course is how many of us are living with fear, how much it controls our lives, and how desperately we need the support of others to walk through it.

    Yesterday I had to have a private grieving session for all the pain I have encountered in the last little while. There are so many broken people in the world. Some of us find a way out and begin to walk the Healing Path. Some of us do not. Releasing tears remains one of my favorite ways to accept this Truth and then let it go.

    Whenever the negative voice in my head says, “By what authority do you dare to lead this kind of workshop?” the Higher Voice (thank goodness) always answers, “By Divine Authority.”

    The world needs Wounded Healers. We’ve been there and we’re walking through our fear one breath at a time. It’s my honour to support you all on this Journey.

    So the sign on my door now says, “Celia McBride, D.A.”

    Inspiring Message of the Day: My own wounds and fears are my greatest treasure today because they have given me real experience to share with others. I will participate in my own Healing knowing it will benefit others seeking the same Path.

    Grace Full

    • June 24, 2010 10:05 am

    Dearest Readers,

    These posts of late have been short and (hopefully) sweet because I’m writing them on an iPhone and because my days here on the ashram, though relaxed, are quite full. But if I had a little more time I could tell you some pretty amazing stories.

    They’ll have to wait.

    For now, I’ll share with you my thoughts on the topic of Grace, which was the subject of last night’s study discussion.

    We were told that Grace is an unmerited gift. One does not have to do anything to receive Grace. Grace is everywhere. Grace is always present. Grace is all there is. Grace is, in fact, the true definition of God. So Grace simply Is.

    Though we can better receive Grace by becoming fit vessels (through prayer, meditation, right eating, right living etc.) the Nature of Grace is such that one does not have to be a fit vessel to receive It. Grace does not discriminate.

    Because Grace is all there is, the unfit vessel is always receiving Grace just as the fit vessel is also. However, in order to better experience Grace, one must become open and willing.

    With these qualities the individual will come to know Grace intimately and the Gift will have true meaning.

    If I had a million years I couldn’t tell you of the Grace I am now experiencing. Well, maybe I could. With a laptop.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: My desire is to know Grace. Because this Gift is mine by birthright I will accept its offer by being open and willing to receive it.

    We Shall Receive

    • June 23, 2010 1:11 pm

    Dearest Readers,

    One of the challenges I have faced in the past is learning how to receive. Coming to believe that I deserve a gift has been a process which has involved a great deal of healing work.

    It has paid off.

    Yesterday a woman on the ashram who has been attending the Inspiring Sessions I’ve been leading offered me a free Reiki session with her. She is a healer and invited me to receive her gift in thanks for the healing work I’ve been doing throughout the week.

    While in the session, I began to think of how I could pay her back. I could offer her a free Inspiring Coaching session!  But something stopped me. What if I didn’t have to do anything to pay her back? What if I could just accept her gift unconditionally? What then? Then I would be affirming that I am worthy of the gift of healing.

    When the session was over I said nothing but thank you.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: The open heart receives. Today I will allow myself to receive a gift that is offered to me and I will give nothing but my word of thanks in return.

    Don’t Get It

    • June 22, 2010 9:13 am

    Dearest Readers,

    This morning I attended a Puja in one of the temples here on the ashram. A puja is a ceremony that involves worshipping the deities of the Hindu faith. The altar is cleansed and purified, the statues of the deities are washed with milk and water, chanting and prayers are sung and spoken and then the statues are dressed in fancy cloth and prayer beads are hung around their necks.

    As fascinating as this ritual is I have found it rather strange and difficult to understand. But an open mind is the aspirant’s best friend and so I have done my best not to judge.

    At this point in time, without having done the real homework (asking someone to explain it to me), I have deduced that the real meaning of the Puja lies in the action of the thing. By spending this kind of devoted time in worship the aspirant is not only expressing her thanks but she is also given an opportunity to experience Oneness with her Creator.

    As I began to let go of my judgment I started to appreciate the patience and focus the ritual required. I was then invited up to the altar to participate in the ceremony. As I assisted the monk in the washing of Lakshmi I felt strangely honoured to be a part of this service.

    When I returned to the meditation cushion where I had been sitting my heart felt full and I was moved to tears. Why? What had taken place?

    Maybe it’s best not to try and figure it out. When I do that I tend to miss the point.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: I do not need to understand everything. Sometimes when I just let things happen the understanding comes all by itself.

    Still and All

    • June 21, 2010 8:42 am

    Dearest Readers,

    As I write this I am watching a little green lizard climb up a nearby tree. I have been seeing a lot of these creatures skittling around the ashram and they fill me with pleasure. We can learn stillness from the lizard.

    Ah, stillness. Something so lovely and excruciating all at once. When the body becomes still the mind wakes up. The mind gets busy thinking. That’s why you’ll hear so many people say, “I can’t meditate.”  We think to meditate means to have a quiet mind.

    Meditation, in fact, will reveal the activity of the mind thus giving us the opportunity to practice letting it all go. When I arrived on the ashram a few days ago I was pretty stimulated from 10 days of constant activity. Sitting still in silence gave my mind the time to think about everything that had happened. How to let go and be here now?

    Practice. It’s the only answer. Keep at it. Like people who say, ” I can’t do yoga because I’m not flexible” we need to be reminded that yoga promotes flexibility. The more I give myself over to sitting still the louder the mind will get but with time and willingness I will get better at simply Being.

    The lizard is my guru!

    Inspiring Message of the Day:     The nature of the mind is to think. When I understand this I can give myself a break for having an over-active melon. Meditation is a practice which teaches me to Be instead of to think. I will give myself the gift of this practice today.

    I am

    • June 19, 2010 9:39 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Here on the ashram life is quite simple.  Waken early, meditate, chant, practice yoga for the body, eat, do service, study, more yoga, eat again, meditate again, study some more and bed. Nothing complicated about that.

    But the study, well, I wouldn’t say it’s complicated, rather it is decidedly simple but it is not easy. For here we study the Ultimate Reality and becoming that which we already are: the manifestation of Pure Consciousness.

    Yup, told ya it was simple.

    Inspiring Message of the Day:     Who am I really? I am a human being, yes, and I, too, am a part of the Great I Am, the Power of Oneness Back of All Things. When I remember this my fear is relinquished.

    To Paradise

    • June 18, 2010 6:58 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Made it back to Montreal after a full day of driving with stops along the way to see family and friends. Arrived alive, thank heavens.

    I’m on my way to the Bahamas this morning and preparing to settle into ashram life. This means quiet, contemplative and communal living. I can’t wait.

    I’m functioning on very little sleep right now so I’m afraid this post will be less than it could be but my day was just made by the look of joy on a boy’s face when I returned his baseball cap to him after he’d forgotten it in the waiting area. What a smile!

    Even though I’m blogging about it, what made the gesture especially enjoyable is that I did it anonymously. I gave the hat to a flight attendant to give to the boy. She got the credit but I got the reward.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Today, just for fun, I will commit a random act if kindness anonymously. If I tell someone about it I will do something else to replace it!

    Day Eleven

    • June 17, 2010 4:32 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Hitting the road again again after being in Kitchener four days during the Magnetic North Theatre Festival. Tomorrow I get on a plane and fly to the Bahamas to lead Cultivate Your Courage. The weekly weather page for Bahamas on the iPhone has seven straight clouds with ferocious-looking lightening bolts. Should be an interesting week.

    On my way back to Montreal today I will be passing through Port Hope, Ontario, where I lived for three years before I moved back to the Yukon in 2004. My grandparents on my mother’s side still live there, as do her 3 sisters. I’ll be stopping in to see them as I pass.

    My grandparents are quite elderly and though they have managed to stay in their own home until now (with lots of outside help) the time has come for them to move into a senior’s residence. It will be an enormous change for them and though my grandmother is scared she is ready to go. My grandfather, to say the least, is less than thrilled about the move.

    When I lived in Port Hope I went over to see them every single day. I had left Montreal to look after my parents’ second home in Port Hope. It was a sweet deal. I got to live in plantation-style home, they got a property manager.

    In Montreal I had been working in both a seniors’ residence and a nursing home. Both jobs gave me insight into the aging process and appreciation for the elder experience. I also had a knack for working with old folks. My daily visits to my grandparents were rooted in service work. I went there to give them unconditional love and care once a day, without fail.

    Last night when I called my grandparents to tell them I was coming, my grandfather, who has trouble hearing (and listening) said, “I know I’m not supposed to say this but I think of you as a special granddaughter. The time we spent together when you were here was a wonderful period in our lives.”

    The last time I visited I said good-bye to them. And the time before that. Every time I go there I know it may be the last. So today I get to see them and say another good-bye. I considered zooming right past the town and skipping the visit altogether. Port Hope is nestled right beside the highway and it would make my day so much easier. But Life is not always about choosing the easy path.

    Yesterday the wind was as strong as I’ve ever felt it. The force was almost hurricane-like. I watched it whip the trees and pushed against it as I walked and remembered suddenly that I’d dreamt of a tornado the night before. In the dream, I saw the twister in the distance coming toward me. I remember being afraid.

    My job today is to go and be present with my grandparents. To give them love and support as the winds of change blow through their fragile lives. May it pass through without too much destruction.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When I want to avoid the difficult emotional territory that comes with familial relationships I will remember that Unconditional Love heals all wounds. It is a Force of Nature, more powerful than anything else in the world.