• Joy

    • September 28, 2011 9:44 am

    Dearest Readers,

    I often blog when I am struggling and need to reach out, to connect, to remind myself that I am not alone. I don’t often post when things are going swimmingly and I am living a life I love and cultivating joy.

    Currently, I am in such a place. It is wonderful when the inner work pays off and we get to experience the absolute glory of being alive.

    Thank you all for being a part of this journey. I send you love and encouragement to keep moving forward with Guidance.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When I do the deep work of cultivating courage and when I put my healing first I will be rewarded with experiences of true Peace and Love.

    Love the One You’re With

    • August 22, 2011 9:32 am

    Dearest Readers,

    How much time do you spend wishing someone you love would change? Just a little bit. Or a lot. If he/she would only do this differently or do things the way I do them. He/she would be so much better that way! Or so much better off. Wouldn’t they? According to me they would. Because I know best. I know what he/she needs to do.

    For most of my life I’ve lived with this Voice of Judgment in my head. It’s been a long haul to rid myself of it and still it comes back, like an old friend (or a bad rash), trying to drive the bus of my life, trying to dictate my relationships with others.

    What I know from past experience is that this particular part of me gets fired up not because I’m an unkind and judgmental person but because I am feeling unsafe or vulnerable in some way. This part of me has been my protector, my defense against intimacy, my excuse to remain an outsider, different and therefore superior.

    So I usually need some self-care first. Send reassurance to this part of myself. Take gentle and kind actions. Self-love and self-forgiveness are in order. And then I need to remember that just as I am not perfect neither is anyone else. And as I walk this Healing Path and gain the kind of humility required to own and accept my humanity I start to become a part of my fellow humans rather than apart from.

    A friend of mine is currently struggling with a situation and my temptation is to tell this person what to do. Because I know what’s best, see? I know the answer and this person should do what I think is right. Right? Wrong. So how do I deal with this? What do I do with the temptation to control, to judge, to dictate?

    A quote by Thomas Merton, a great writer and a monk of the last century, has been my steadfast guide:

    “The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we see in them.”

    Isn’t that beautiful? And juste. I just love it. It’s been so helpful to me. Let someone be exactly who he is. Let her be herself. If I try to change him to fit me that means I’ll only love him when he becomes more like I am! Ridiculous. And so true.

    This doesn’t mean that I can’t make helpful suggestions to her if she is struggling. I can offer him support and encouragement. I can provide her with experience, strength and hope. I can respond to him with compassion while pointing out alternative routes. But I cannot do any of this if my motivation is to “twist” or control or change. It’s not my job.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: My job as a friend is to let my friends and loved ones be exactly who they are. I will trust that the path each person is on is exactly the right path and I will let Higher Guidance do the steering.

    Pray Tell

    • January 27, 2011 9:35 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Tired? Grumpy? Lethargic? Despairing? Anxious? Overwhelmed? All of the above? You’re not alone. On any given day I can experience any number of these fear symptoms. Lately, my number one solution has been simply to pray.

    Get quiet, ask for Direction, listen. All of these actions constitute prayer and with them comes the exquisite sensation of simply dwelling in the Presence of God.

    I heard someone recently say that for her God was a person. That works for her so that’s great. For me, God is not a person. God is the Spirit of Unity Back of All Things. God is the reason why there is something rather than nothing, the Condition of Possibility of any entity whatsoever.

    Neither of those definitions are mine, by the way. They came to me and I grabbed on to them. They make sense to me. They back up my experience. And that is how I have come to know this God. Through experience. Not because someone told me what to believe. The experience of this Power is why I have I faith in its existence.

    But despite my faith I am still self-reliant. And my self-reliance causes me to suffer. I overwork, I future-trip, I judge, I worry, I sabotage myself. I operate on Old BS (belief systems) instead of trusting Higher Guidance. And then I end up in chaos of one kind or another, whether it’s just a wee little bit or full-blown doesn’t matter. I still find myself there. Sigh.

    It is at these times of inner crisis that I remember to pray. Not just pray like I do everyday, sorta kinda doing it because I gotta. But praying deeply. Taking the time to BE. Be with God. Not wonder, not question, not say a few deferential words. But connect. Rest. Dwell in the Great Presence.

    When I embrace the Sacred I am so embraced. The Divine enters and fear disappears. I remember who I am.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Today I will take time to pray deeply. Shedding all thoughts but One.

    One!

    • September 21, 2010 10:36 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Today is the one year anniversary of Inspiring Message of the Day. I just went back and read the very first post, which I wrote in response to hearing the Still Small Voice say, “Get up and write a blog.”

    “Huh?” I remember thinking, “Are you completely serious?” But I listened. And if you look at the time of that post it says “5:47 a.m.” And that was an hour after getting up and figuring out Blogger and then writing the darn thing. Case in point: I obeyed the command despite its seemingly bizarre nature.

    As I was pondering what to write on this momentous occasion I thought about all the things I could say. The most obvious one is that I achieved a goal. This is huge. I committed to posting six days a week for one year and I actually did that without fail. Granted, some posts are better than others but nevertheless I did it. So “clink” and congratulations, Celia.

    There were other goals that came out of the blog that I achieved as well. I made a commitment in Run For Your Life to do one form of cardiovascular exercise a week in addition to my daily yoga practice. And guess what? I’ve kept that up, too. As I was running up those Black St. stairs two at a time yesterday I thought, “My body has changed.” A year ago I was huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf.

    But here is the question that is really begging to be answered. Have I changed the thing that prompted the blog in the first place? That rage that powered the prayer to help me not strangle the cat?

    Yes. And no.

    The rage can still come up. So that’s not gone. Maybe it never will be. But the force at which it arrives has lessened considerably. The cat hasn’t jumped on my stomach for a long time. Coincidence? Probably not. Now when he cries at 5 a.m. I pat him, scratch his ears, talk to him quietly and lift up the covers so he can snuggle underneath them with me. And then we both go back to sleep. Some kind of Surrender had to take place in me and I had to let It in.

    Yesterday I had a major deadline to meet. I was at Staples making copies and things were not going my way. The copier printed 170 pages of my work with a big black line through each one. The 3-hole punch was on the wrong setting and the holes in 120 pages were skewed. I could feel that old rage starting to boil.

    I took a deep breath and said, “Please help me. I can’t handle this.”

    Moments later a woman who might be called the town loonie came stomping into the store. She was having some kind of psychotic episode. She was ranting unintelligibly and everyone just kind of stopped and stared. She did a tour around the cash registers and then she left.

    This woman just happens to be one of my Symbols. There she was. Appearing almost immediately after I’d asked for Higher Guidance. I relaxed. Look at your life, Celia. Look at what you have. Your problems are not really problems. Things fell into their proper perspective.

    Thinking back to a year ago and that morning of the first blog I can see the difference between who I was then and who I am now. Yes, I have changed. And I will continue to change if I continue to ask for that Help. I can’t do it by myself. I need something Greater, something More Powerful than my little old self. That part, thank goodness, hasn’t changed.

    This is by no means the last blog, Dearest Readers, but I am going to take a bit of a break. I have a play to write and this precious time I take to post each day must now be used for that.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you, a million times thank you for reading. Thank you for being there, for being You, for Be-ing. You are amazing!

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When I am in need of Great Strength I will continue to ask for It. I will ask no matter where I am and no matter what I am doing. Today I will trust that when I ask for help It will come. It will come.

    Four…

    • September 17, 2010 9:38 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Nearby on my desk is a piece of paper that says, “Checklist of Required Materials”. It’s for an application to the Canadian Film Centre and I’ve been staring at it for weeks as I prepare my submission to one of their programs. After pondering the words for so long I started to wonder, “What if we had one of those for Life?”

    A Checklist of Required Materials for Living:

    • Food
    • Shelter
    • Sleep
    • Higher Guidance

    Yup, that’s it. Of course, there are a gazillion more things I could add but how many of them do I really need? The above list names the essentials, the required materials in my life. Vital. Necessary. Can’t do without. When regarded as such it really is a very short list.

    When life gets challenging I find it helpful to drop into this place of Knowing. I have everything I need. I am fed, I have a roof over my head, I am rested and there is a Powerful Source of Energy making it all happen. It keeps things very simple and it makes it easier to be thankful for everything else I do have on top of these basic essentials.

    So today’s Checklist for Required Living? Check, check, check and check.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: What do I really need to live peacefully? Today I will strip my needs down to the absolute essentials. The rest then becomes luxury and so I will practice thankfulness for the Abundance in my life.

    Wait Here Before X-ing

    • September 7, 2010 9:17 am

    Dearest Readers,

    (Aside: Forgive yesterday’s post. Because I committed to blogging six days a week for one full year I sometimes let myself get away with the absolute minimum in order to meet the goal. Unfortunately that can mean asking you to accept slapdash inspiration on days when time is an issue!)

    Yesterday as I was driving back from Keno City I hit a bird. Not a small bird but big, grouse-like creature. Big enough to make a sound when the impact hit. Big enough to feel.

    Actually, I should say the grouse (or ptarmigan) hit me. It flew out from the side of the road and straight across into the truck. Wham! I looked into the rearview mirror and saw a poof of feathers fly up and then the body of the bird roll and bounce out from under the vehicle. Awful.

    “What should I do?” I thought. “Stop?”

    By the time I had answered that question I was a long way down the road. So obviously the answer was “no”. I didn’t stop. Was that callous of me? Some might say, “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s a bird.” Others might be horrified. “You could have at least pulled over and moved the poor thing to the ditch, Celia!”

    Later on down the road a bunny rabbit ran out from the side of the road just as I passed it. There was another vehicle right behind me and the fast little thing made it to the other side just a hair (I couldn’t resist) ahead of the speeding wheels of the other car. There were no other vehicles on the road. Why had that rabbit chosen to go right then? When the risk was highest? Here come two cars in a row. Go now!

    And why had the grouse flown into the truck?

    This reminds me of the times in my own life when I’ve thrown myself into situations without thought or careful discernment. I’ll just fling myself into this thing right now because I just have to go now and SMACK!

    Painful consequences. “Oh why did I have to do that?”

    Much improvement has been made, believe me. I take ridiculous amounts of time to make decisions now. But that time-taking determination has been borne out of getting a whallop one too many times. Look before you cross the road. Look both ways. Now look again. All clear? Are you sure? Okay. You can go.

    Who knows why animals feel compelled to throw themselves into oncoming traffic. I know why I’ve done it. Impatience. Fear of not getting what I want. Sometimes it is more compulsive. I’m driven by a self-destructive force and am powerless to make a healthy choice. Whatever the reason the outcome is never fun and there is rarely goodness to come from such behaviour.

    How to trust that waiting is the right thing to do? How to trust that Higher Guidance?

    Practice. Practice waiting and seeing. Practice allowing Higher Guidance to have the reins. Practice watching the unfoldment of events (in the situation you’ve let go of) and then bear witness to the results. When things work out better than we could have ever planned we will gain new trust in the Wisdom of Waiting.

    Only then can we really fly.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Even though I want to fly NOW I will wait and see if the skies are clear before I take off. I will begin to trust that by doing so I will be given the wings to soar.

    (By the way, tomorrow I will be leading a Cultivate Your Courage Teleclass and I hope that some of you will join me.)

    Breathing Practice

    • September 3, 2010 11:32 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Where does your dark side come out? In traffic? In supermarket line-ups? Mine is on the phone with “agents”. You know, “Okay, you’d like to speak to an agent. One moment while I transfer you.” That kind of agent.

    It’s not pretty. I’ve worked on this, believe me. And then I’ve worked on it some more. And I continue to work on it, one call at a time.

    Yesterday, someone gave me a new tool. She called it a Breath Prayer. On the inhalation, you summon whatever Force you choose to believe is spinning the planet, whatever Higher Guidance you entrust with your life, and on the out breath you say the thing that is going to ground you in that Power.

    For example:

    Inhale Higher Guidance.

    Exhale Centre Me in Patience.

    I love this. It’s easy. It doesn’t take any time at all. And I can do it anywhere.

    Including on the phone with an (inhale, exhale) agent.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Today I will create a Breath Prayer that works for me. I will keep it simple and make it meaningful and I will practice it whenever I need Grace on my side.

    Thank you, Moses

    • August 26, 2010 7:50 am

    Dearest Readers,

    This morning I feel like singing Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus. I feel like the Red Sea has parted and I’m walking along the cleared, dry path to freedom. I’ve had a breakthrough.

    There is still some processing I need to do so I won’t get specific and the details are not actually what’s important. It’s not about what happened as much as it is how it happened.

    Stick-to-it-iveness. Perseverance. Talking it out. These are some of the tools I employed to find my way out of the mire and into the clearing. When I felt like giving up I didn’t. When I wanted to withdraw I put myself out there. When my fear told me to isolate I told someone about it.

    These inspired actions coupled with some pretty deep prayer and meditation kept the process moving forward and eventually afforded me the “a-ha moment” that I had last night.

    A very short time ago I was in emotional turmoil. My energy was really blocked. I didn’t know why and I simply could not figure it out in my head. The confused mind cannot solve the problem. It’s confused!

    The answer must come from a Deeper Place. The Heart. The Gut. The Great Spirit. Anywhere but the mind, where the difficulty originates.

    So, my friends, the words to a sweet, sweet song by Van Morrison are swirling around inside me today. “Yes, it feels like a Brand New Day.”

    That and Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Halle-lu-jah!

    Inspiring Message of the Day: When I am confused or my energy is blocked I will not try and solve the issue by thinking about it. I will use the Greater Methods of the Spirit to make my way to the other side and I will trust that Clarity will eventually come.

    Symbolically Speaking

    • August 23, 2010 10:45 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Poustinia was a delight. It’s amazing what pleasure can be gained by chopping wood and sweeping floors. I also slept for 11 hours. My body was extremely grateful for that!

    One of the tools I use to stay connected to Higher Guidance is symbology. I choose symbols (or they choose me) that confirm the Universe is not only Loving but also invested in my personal journey (yours, too).

    The symbols I choose are not picked randomly, although they could be and the connection would work just as well. I’ll give you an example of the process of choosing a symbol and its consequent significance.

    Perhaps I see a man in a store. Something about him draws my attention. He is an outsider. As I begin to observe him my heart fills with compassion. I am suddenly feeling an incredible sense of Connection and Presence, which can only be described as the Oneness of Being.

    Time passes. Perhaps I am having a difficult day. I pray for a miracle. I ask to be returned to a state of spiritual wellness. I leave the house. I see the man from the store pass by. I am astonished. That feeling of Oneness returns. I am immediately restored to a State of Love.

    One of my strongest symbols is the three-legged dog. Whenever I am in need of Higher Guidance a three-legged dog appears out of nowhere. It is the most marvelous thing.

    I have been in a real time of transition these last few weeks. Spiritual growth can be extremely challenging. I went on poustinia to all at once give myself a break and dive deeper into the process.

    Within the first hour of my arrival at the cabin I had a couple of visitors. There I was, chopping wood for a fire, when two dogs came bounding around the corner full of vim and vigour and looking for a friendly pat. One of them had a broken paw wrapped in a booty. It was walking on three legs.

    I scrubbed that dogs ears and it kissed my face and nuzzled my neck. It stared up at me with pure, unconditional love. It was as though the very Energy of God had come right into my arms to say, “I love you. You’re doing great. I’ve got your back. No matter what. Okay?”

    Okay.

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Do I have any symbols that reassure me of a Loving Presence in my life? Today I will experiment with this practice and expect a miracle.

    Sailing Through

    • August 18, 2010 8:35 am

    Dearest Readers,

    Years ago I heard an inspiring speaker talking about making it through rough times. She likened being in the pit of despair to being in the middle of a terrible storm. “Sometimes you just gotta hold on,” she said, “You just gotta hold on until it passes.”

    When we’re in that place of fear it can feel like it’s never going to pass. We can’t see the forest for the trees. All we can feel is rotten. It’s a real pickle of a place to be when everything around you is actually just fine and there is nothing really wrong with your life.

    In my case, I have everything I need, my life is one of freedom and adventure, I am young and independent, I’ve been given great gifts of creativity and spirituality, and yet despite all of that I still end up somehow back in that pit.

    Fear is so baffling, isn’t it? What helps me to understand it a little better is the belief that I’m being called to grow. To heal on a deeper level. If I deny the fear I won’t get there. If I embrace it I’ll overcome it.

    In order to overcome it, however, I have to move through it. If I would like to come out the other side I have to have to do a few simple, yet challenging, things. Holding on is one of them.

    I hold on to the belief that in the Big Picture everything is really okay. I hold on to “This, too, shall pass.” I hold on to faith. Faith in a Benevolent Universe, a Greater Power, a Life Force Energy Back of All Things. I hold on to past experience that tells me this Power is Unconditional Love and is working constantly for my Highest Good.

    I hold on, period.

    And then the storm ends, the clouds part, the sun shines and I’m through it. And I look around and I am no longer in the pit. I have ascended to a new level of Be-ing.

    It’s a process, folks. Every single time. And every single time I come through it I think, “Whew! I made it.”

    Hallelujah. Land, ho!

    Inspiring Message of the Day: Whenever I hit rough seas I will remember that the route toward calm waters is always ahead. In order to get there I will put up the sail and hold on to the Rudder.