Grr-attitude

Dearest Readers,

Last week was “American Thanksgiving” (as we call it here in Canada) and there was a lot of online content about gratitude. One post suggested that our brains are actually hardwired to focus on problems rather than solutions. What a relief! I thought it was just me.

Because I tend to look for what is wrong instead of what’s right, gratitude is something I need to practice. And I do. In order to change my negative outlook, I will often say the words “Thank you” when my brain is thinking, “F-you.”

Grumbling out loud is also something I like to do when I’m alone. “Grr,” when the snow is blowing back in my face after I’ve just it brushed off the car. “Grr,” when I’m trying to upload a photo and the file is too big. “Grr,” when I’m being asked for a two-step verification for the fourth time.

I am aware of my privilege as I write this. Some people don’t have cars, computers and bank accounts. My problems are definitely first class. Gratitude should be easy.

But “shoulding” on myself doesn’t help. What helps is understanding that “the human brain wraps around fear and problems like Velcro”. Being human is just plain hard and looking for the good takes guts and grit.

Going forward, I’ve decided to try a new practice. When I hear myself saying, “Grr,” I’m going to extend the word and say, “Grr-attitude.”

I’ll let you know how it goes.

On the path with you,

Celia

A Clean Page

Dearest Readers,

The other day I heard someone use a great metaphor for the trap of negative thinking. Imagine a clean, white piece of paper. Imagine a black dot is then printed on the page. What do you stare at?

Sometimes I find myself staring at that black dot when all around me is purity and light. I just can’t take my focus off the blemish.

Recently I did a performance of a spoken-word piece for a public audience and I asked a friend to record it for me so I could either post it on the website or on YouTube. A couple of days later I showed it to some friends who had been unable to see the piece live.

After watching the clip I said, “Now that I hear it played back I realize that my delivery was too slow. When I’ve done it in the past it’s been much faster.”

One friend agreed. “It needs to move along,” he said. The other friend didn’t think so. “I liked it,” she said. “I need to hear the words so I can process what I’m listening to.”

Aside from the fact that this proves we performers can never please everyone, I became suddenly aware that I was again focusing on the black dot. I didn’t see what I had done, only what I hadn’t.

This was not a profound revelation. I’ve been working on this for some time. The good news is that even though I focused on the black dot I didn’t beat the living daylights out of myself for what I’d done “wrong”. I simply observed it and committed to doing it differently next time.

This is progress and progress is something to celebrate. It is vital to recognize these little victories in our lives as we move more and more into the White Space of self-forgiveness.

Inspiring Message of the Day: Am I too focused on the “black dots” in my life? Today I will shift my vision away from the blemishes and concentrate instead on Progress and Positivity.